NurseMart.........just another .99 Cent Store

 

I am a multi-decade ICU nurse and retired from the hospital for three years. Yes folks, I do miss it and I cringe at the reports of what current nurses are experiencing. I know what you know; one of the primary reasons regarding staffing shortages (as are reported today) has to do with the sucky treatment of nurses by hospital administrations. The following is what I wrote in 2008 (and probably ten years earlier too).

If only we were in the business
Like the local grocery store,
We'd earn a flat percentage
For every pill and chore,
Every spoken word of teaching
Every gesture of compassion,
There'd be seasonal variations
Like the latest winter fashions.
 
For special big events
There could be a bonus format,
It would beat the present system
Where we're treated like a doormat,
For example, we could compensate
Events like CPR,
If you succeed and bring them back
You win the big cigar.
 
Your patient was combative
He tried to stab the Candy-Striper,
She’s the daughter of the CEO
You win the keys to his Dodge Viper,
Or you work an extra night shift
Like it’s really no big deal,
Seven patients with infections
Every one of them with difficele,
By morning you’re exhausted
And finally feeling old,
Your boss comes in, says, “Way to go”
And hands you coins of gold.
  
There would be no nursing shortage
If these silly thoughts were true,
Pay us like celebrities
It is long way overdue!

2008