Lost Horizon

As I mentioned earlier (back in November), actually achieving the heralded "I'm Retired" battle-cry..............well folks, it ain't easy.............nor painless, as I'm still waiting for confirmation that my Open Enrollment for health benefits has been consummated.

I sent all the damn forms
It wasn't easy,
I'm ninety-nine percent confident
And one percent queasy,
Because chaos and entropy
Are cousins of a sort,
Something always gets screwed up
In any report.

Yes, logic and proportion
Tell a story so pure,
While factual data
Feels so safe and secure,
Yet, that's such a fallacy
Regarding any plan,
Where legions of Gods
Laugh at every single man.

That one-percent solution
Is no solution at all,
It seems that my benefits
Are in a perpetual stall.

Two weeks P.R.

Yep, two weeks post-retirement. My stress-o-meter has gone from an 88.2, down to about 23. That's right, even everyday life has some ongoing stuff to deal with. But now, everyday is generally relaxed and it feels like this:

The stress is gone
I don't feel frantic,
I feel like I'm floating
In the south Atlantic,
All that chaos and drama
And the overly specific,
Now I'm a piece of coral
In the south Pacific.

No Pal Left Behind

Everywhere in all the realms of care; the Buddy System rules.
You figure out who you can trust during times of duress,
and you hold a torch for them, in their time of need.

So, I may be retired, but I remain willing to write the stories that scream to be heard.

Working Rough

I visited my working pals

Their story was the same,

Inadequate staffing

In the Recovery game.

The place that I worked

Had a split personality,

Prepping patients for procedures

Doesn't equate with fair reality,

For those persons assigned

In the Recovery Bay,

Where time and complications

Can take over the day.

The problem is endemic

There is a captain of this ship,

He shakes a lot of hands

Like a mescaline trip,

Smiles, laughs and rainbows

With cookies on Nurses day,

He's always willing to listen

Wiggle his hips and sashay.

Look, don't get me wrong

This hospital is not unique,

Probably ninety percent of them

Have the same party squeak,

Thus, it's really damned hard

To find the jewel in the muck,

When all the dollars and diamonds

Have somehow fallen off the truck.

Coffee can be too much

Coffee can be a purgative. It's so simple.

Drink too much coffee

And what will happen?

A lot of fartin'

And possibly some crappen.

A Week Later

You got it, there's still something stuck in my 17th wisdom tooth, and I can't get it out.
I realize that I'm just a late and jaded Baby Boomer. That's why I suffer all of my delusions. So, don't get excited by anything I write; just let it perc and mantle and simmer for a while.

Work Break

Billy Buckaroo
And Betty Lou Jones,
Those new hires in surgery
Keep using their phones,
We will give them a warning
And a reprimand too,
But, three strikes and you're out
Then goodbye, buckaroo.

During orientation
There was a thirty minute session,
Electronic communications
Definitions, and discretion,
Guidelines reviewed
Personal phone use, and more,
You may use them during your break
Not during work, that's the score.

Administration understands
Folks have become addicted,
To their electronic pacifier
It's easy to get conflicted,
Regarding one's attention
On critical matters, at hand,
Lives hang in the balance
Why don't you understand?!?

Man, our shifts are long
Eight to twelve hours,
Walking, wiping, lifting, standing
And other super powers,
About every ten minutes
My brain needs a rest,
You can't possibly expect me
To continue to do my best,
Without a short me-break
I gotta check on my peeps,
Uh oh, here comes the Supervisor
He gives me the creeps,
Always telling me to shut it down
Remember?, screen time is later,
Now I’m checking on Amazon
For a Boss Eliminator.

You see, with my kind of experience
I barely need to throw a thought,
My eidetic memory
Recalls everything that was taught,
As I cruised through school
I was the best, check my scores,
I barely need to stay attentive
With my usual Nursing chores.

Look, I have to check Facebook
And share all my pictures,
Hey, did I tell you about
That big whale, with all of his strictures,
Oh my Gawd, they were awful
Still, I got the grossest photo,
Wait, you don’t have an iPhone
Just a crappy little Moto?

Well, that’s how it is
Hospitals have to find the groove,
If you don’t like me using my phone
I will gladly move,
‘Cuz I know that Sister Euphemia
Across town, she don’t care,
They're just kidding in Orientation
And trying to give you a scare.