Careful with those words, Boss

I am a certain kind of writer because I pay attention to the usage of words and terms. During my 40+ years in healthcare I paid close attention to the things that were being communicated to me. As a result, I have laughed a lot.

If you work in the hospital you must know about the Johns Hopkins Appraisal Tool for Fall Risk Assessment. At the most recent facility I worked at, it was identified as the Johns Hopkins Tool. If you are a warm blooded adult, you may be aware that there are alternative definitions for the term "tool". Sometimes I wonder who is sitting on the panel of professionals, when they all agree on the naming of something. It reminds me of the acronym of SBAR (Situation, Background, Assessment, Recommendation); now consider what FUBAR alludes to: Effed Up Beyond All Repair. 

Johns Hopkins Tool

I don't think I want to know
About Johns Hopkins tool,
I may be a Nurse
But I'm not a fool,
To be poking around
In his business that way,
I'd rather read a report
Than see that tool, any day.
 
I really don't care
About Johns Hopkins tool,
I learned all about that stuff
Way back in school,
And if he wanted us to know
Don'tcha think he'd send a letter,
Nope, I don't want to see it
'Cuz it don't get any better.
 
You see, I don't understand
How seeing Johns Hopkins tool,
Will make me any smarter
And I'm already cool,
So what could be the point
Of this mandatory class?
It better not be something
About Johns Hopkins ass!