Ivermectin

 
I offer no advice regarding cures and quacks regarding what options a person might choose for their own healthcare. But as I recently mentioned, I won't hesitate to write about those choices.

Ivermectin
What's the deal?
I took the Pig dose
And now I squeal,
Every time 
I smell leftover dinner,
And I'm fattening up
I used to be thinner.

Joe Bob Bulaski
He took the Cow dose,
Every time he sees a tree
He stands real close,
And just the other day
He yelled, "Moooooove over",
When I was approaching
His field of clover.

His twin sister Carla
Took the one for the Sheep,
Now she wants to change her name
To Little Bo Peep,
And every time I talk to her
She says, "Stop Ba-a-a--a-thering me,
But she'll ask me to scratch her back; 
She thinks she has fleas.

Now, let me tell you about
Old Uncle Morris,
He took three doses of the stuff
Along with Aunt Doris,
They picked the package
Labelled for Equine,
Now they're galloping in the pasture
And everything is fine.

Chemicals: What's Not To Like

 
I'll get it out in the open; I am pro-vaccine. I'm pretty sure the one's I have had (and will have) offer me a healthier and better life. I won't argue differing opinions......I'm not in charge of you. But still, I can write whatever the heck I want. 

Chemicals: What Not To Like?

One of the complaints of some anti-vaxxers
They don't want to put some "unknown" chemical in their veins,
All the while the chemicals eaten, wiped on skin and soaped
Are insidiously rotting their brains, 
These are the folks who don't bother to read labels
Or study a chemical database regarding what they consume,
Brother, an MrNA vaccine is far simpler
Than most of the chemicals in your bathroom. 

Bloated Belly Bleeder

I was in close proximity to bleeding throughout my critical-care experience. My hospital dreams are commonly associated with that. This poem relates to an incident I faced when I was moonlighting at a local hospital ICU.

Bloated, a balloon-like belly
A premonition for disaster,
I called the Doc for an NG-tube
As quick as I could, only faster,
To avoid an explosion of gastric contents
Who knows what's contained in that cavity?
But I guarantee one-hundred percent
Whatever it is will meet gravity.

I place the tube in mild warm water
Then coat it with Surgi-lube slime,
I favor the stuff with Lidocaine
But Doctors don't order it all of the time,
Because some folks might be allergic
And develop carboxyhemoglobinemia,
And take it from me, old friend
That is way worse than hypoglycemia.

Call it bad luck or just my fate
The dude has a G.I. bleeder,
Blood clots just clogged up that tube
And when he vomits it smells unlike cedar,
In fact any of you working Internal medicine
Know what I'm talking about,
Blood erupting from Billy Bob's belly
Is best avoidable, there is no doubt.

Creepy Crawlies

 
Sometimes our patient's were seeing bugs (common with alcohol delirium) and sometimes the creepy crawlies were real. And of course the worse situation was when the admitted individual, brought along their own personal infestation. Yuck!

Creepy Crawlies

We had an attack
Of creepy crawlies,
Worse than any of
Sigmund’s follies.

Scooting around
So low to the ground,
Favoring darkness
Without people around.

Sneaking through cracks
Keeping close to the walls,
I did the squish’em dance
In my coveralls.

Little black ants
Crawling on the sheet,
In ICU-7
Well, that’s hard to beat;
But it was an old hospital
Down on Engle Road,
Shuttered twenty years ago
That healthcare abode.