When you work in healthcare, whether you take care of babies or adults, the likelihood is that you (like the rest of us) have had it up to your ears in bodily secretions. I won't write the names of these things because I would rather not trigger a seizure or panic attack in my audience.
While reviewing the past forty years of writings I realized that the fullest category of poems is that which talks about all the gross stuff. Here is a new one:
Holy crap!
I don't know why I never looked this up before,
How much does a Flexi-Seal cost?
Don't ask; it will blow you out the door.
Heck, those things were flying off the shelf
Back in the MICU,
When 60% of the patients had C-diff
And if you didn't wash your hands enough
So would you.
When I "Googled" Flexi-Seal
It was in the #1 position,
The second listing was Flex Seal
Like the runner up at the audition,
The first one requires a Doctor's order
And the patient is charged over four hundred bucks,
Whereas Flex Seal costs fifteen dollars
Leaving enough money left over for
Seventeen, 30-per-pack, Chux.
Nurses are really smart
When faced with adversity they show no fear,
They could easily imagine how to configure a garbage bag
Along with Flex Seal, to the average patient's rear,
Once again my genius ingenuity
Is proven to be without bounds,
Oh, wait a second, I have to get out of here
I think I hear the Sheriff with the hounds.
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