Who among us, has never complained about physicians? Or poked fun, at least. Far be it from me to avoid that subject. The majority of the doctors I worked along side of over the years, were great. Like any profession, there were a few bad apples, and I have certainly aimed my pen at nurses as well. But in April of '92, I first set my sights on the realm of the M.D.

A Great Discovery

As a doctor of new medicine
Training at the U.C.,
I practice my procedures
While watching, "I Love Lucy",
I'm performing vital research
In a field of great concern,
A scientific formula
To project how much I'll earn.

I've had many sleepless nights
On this path of great discovery,
My formula will pinpoint
The med-school loan recovery,
Then I'll sell a little software
And retire filthy rich,
Having never practiced medicine
Now, isn't that a bitch?

Brand New Parts

The doctors
Bless their bleeding hearts,
They'll gladly sell you
Brand new parts,
Or fix the busted ones
You've got,
And keep them running
Up to snot.

The adage
That we all have heard
That a life of crime won't pay,
Like old wives tales
It's just not true
In medicine today,
With years of training
Beneath their belts
They've borrowed to the hilt,
Heroic measures
Pay those debts
There is no room for guilt.

So, you know why
These supermen
Work so hard to earn your thanks,
You can see them
In their Porsche's
As they're racing to their banks.

Fibril_late; 3/92