Another Top-Ten favorite; "Satanic Nurses". I like the way that nurses, curses and purses all rhyme so well. Try doing that with "wallet"; see, it just doesn't cut it. Actually, this theme of Satanic Nurses, was in response to the way horribly-sick people become wildly disoriented, paranoid and delusional and sometimes see their caregivers as demons. Or maybe it's just because I worked 19 years on graveyard shift.

The Night Of The Living Dead Nurses

Don't mess around with
The night of the living dead nurses,
They'll make your life miserable
They guarantee all of their curses,
You may think life is hell
But it's rosy, compared to their view,
No end to the pain
They make every torture seem new,
You'll beg for some mercy
It's futile, their hearts are like ice,
To them blood and guts
Are what you might call sugar and spice,
You'll find shrunken heads
Of their victims, inside of their purses,
There's just no escaping
The night of the living dead nurses.


Satanic Nurses

When I went into the hospital
I took my holy water,
That place is surely haunted
Said my one and only daughter,
Take my rabbits foot as well, she said
To ward off evil curses,
But most of all watch out for
Those satanic nurses.

My surgery was tenuous
My post-op course was more so,
I was leaking from a gaping wound
That wrapped around my torso,
And as my essence slowly drained
I thought upon these verses,
I want to warn the world about
Those satanic nurses.

They’ve infiltrated high command
And caused a great upheaval,
Their ways are sly and devious
The epitome of evil,
They come to work equipped with death
Hidden in their purses,
Beware, there’s no escaping
From those satanic nurses.

Fibril_late; 5/’92