The Laboratory Triumvirate comes to the final end with:

On The Rack

I think that I am going to be in trouble
Because I didn''t read the book from front to back,
The one about all specimen collections
Now the laboratory wants me on their rack.

I sent the sputum in the wrong container
The urine leaked and soiled someones coat,
The blood cultures were mixed up with the salsa
Now everybody wants me by the throat.

The guiac cards were dripping with the brown stuff
The difficele was difficult to test,
And when I sent a bedpan for pan-cultures
The laboratory really was impressed.

Oh, they want me by the neck at noon tomorrow
They'd like to string me up by my entrails,
My fate could be decided by a phone call
As their specimen, I'll be lost; it never fails.

Fibril_late; 9/92