A family of trolls, they were. You had to be there, but I wouldn't advise it.

Still Doing Dope

72 years old
And still doing dope,
Maybe she needs more length
In her self-hanging rope,
But then I saw her kids
And saw what-is-to-be,
I'd like to give them all ropes
Guaranteed and free.

Now, I know that's not cozy
I'm a nurse, after all,
All lives are redeemable
There's a tide before the fall,
But I don't have time
In critical-care,
To sling hopeful platitudes
While they are gasping for air.

I met four offspring
And they were short in the tooth,
I guess they traded them in
At the methamphetamine booth,
And they swagger through life
Just like Momma-dearest,
In a family contest
They were the queerest!

Fibril_late;

5/14/08

(Part II)

All In the Family


The 8th decade of life
Could be one of reflection,
But in your case, you're still fighting
A ravaging infection,
Brought on by stupid choices
And tired excuses,
Ill-devised foolishness
And substance abuses.

Having met your progeny
Perhaps you're attempting to escape,
Collectively I was impressed
By their sorry-assed shape,
And you know that the apple
Doesn't fall far from the tree,
A whole family abusing drugs
Is the way it looks to me.

I was creeped-out for sure
When your number one daughter,
Made a beeline for me
With her eyes full of slaughter,
Demanding I call the Doctor
About methadone for Momma,
I figured she was a dead-ringer
For the wife of Osama.

I called Central Services
For pepper-spray and mace,
While she pulled out a Taser
And aimed it at my face;
I drew down on her with a scalpel
And dove under my chair,
Remembering "duck and cover"
While gasping for air.

She fired that Taser
And it hit Betty Lou,
There wasn't a damn thing
That anyone could do,
As Betty hit the floor
With a resounding thump,
That daughter was reloading
When I got the jump,
And I knocked her on the head
With the PDR,
While silently praying
I hadn't gone too far,
Such that I might get sued
By the family from hell,
But all she got was a bump
And man, did it swell.

Now she swung up that Taser
For shot number two,
While screaming, “Dear Momma
I do it for you”,
And in the midst of her soliloquy
I grabbed the defibrillator,
Zapped her at 360, saying
“Sayonara, see you later”.

It was a terrific free-for-all
That night in CCU,
Did you hear, that we're hiring
We're looking for you,
Fringe benefits are awesome
Martial Arts are a plus,
Just don't read the fine print
When you jump on our bus.

Fibril_late;
5/16/08