Over the years, my "John Doe" was named, Mr. Jones. The poor guy suffered a great deal and here he gets the proverbial, "good news / bad news".

Dead Men Don't Get Sick

Mr. Jones, we've got some good news
Some bad news and it's rotten,
Cheer up, you've won the lotto
But you're a dead man, soon forgotten,
We've examined you from head to toe
And there ain't nuthin' workin',
In fact we're quite amazed
That your old heart's still jerkin',
And so we have, but one request
That you will grant, we're hope'n,
Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit
We'd just like to cut you open,
And reach a hand or two inside
To find what makes you tick,
Don't worry, there's no harm in this
Because dead men don't get sick.

Fibril_late; 2/93