He's a real "p.i.a." (pain in the arse). We've all heard that somewhere. The following poem is a takeoff on those initials, and gives pause of thought, when considering the choice of your surgeon.

P.I.A. - Physician Index of Acceleration

"Fresh" open heart
A term of generosity,
The freshness is determined
By the surgeons' style/velocity,
If he lingers in the chest too long
The freshness is at risk,
If he uses mehamphetamines
His delivery will be brisk.

So, check the P.I.A.
Of the surgeon that you pick,
Before he cracks your chest
You'll want to know if he is quick.

Fibril_late; 2/93