The Halloween special issue finished up with this lovely piece about dating while in a vegetative state. I suppose many of us might claim that has happened to us, but that's a topic for "Loveline".

Acquiring An Odor

He accomplished one thing
On his hospital tour,
He finally lost weight
Though he didn’t find a cure,
To his terminal illness
His vegetative state,
But now that he is thinner
He can finally get a date.

But who would be your lover
When you’re unconscious or in a coma,
Slowly wasting away
Acquiring an aroma,
I know there is an answer
I saw it on TV,
There’s a party line for the brain-dead
Call nine hundred, one, two, three.

A sexy voice is waiting
To warm your chilling flesh,
They haven’t got a clue
If you’re spoiled or you’re fresh,
So cast aside depression
And forget about the pain,
You’ve got a date tonight
As you go swirling, down the drain.

Fibril_late; 10/92