Results

Get the job done; rescue the babe, prevent death. Simple and succinct; 30 years of proof.

I'm not the most
Compliant sort,
I break the rules
I do report,
Shave the corners
Skim the till,
If I can get away with it
Yes, I will.

I get the job done
Fast and quick,
Why, should I waste time
If you are sick,
You need a fix
Right away, right now,
I'm the road-runner
Not the cow.

So, mooooove on over
If you're in my way,
Pick up the pieces
I toss from the sleigh,
Study and sort
Why they weren't needed,
Thank your goodness
That I interceded.

We can tally what's missing
To make pretty how it looks,
As I deliver great results
And gently cook the books.

Fibril_late;
6/26/14

Dental Dana 29

That Dental Dana
Sure is foxy,
I'm gonna stick to her
Like good epoxy,
Because she has what it takes
To get me to floss,
And I  love those dresses
She buys at Ross.

Dental Dana
She's quite the number,
I may look like sawdust
But I feel like lumber,
Every time I'm seated
In that Dental chair,
My eyes do follow her
Everywhere.

She shakes her head
Then dulls her tools,
She knows what to do
For us silly fools,
Who always make trouble
When she is around,
Dental Dana is dangerous
That's what I found.

Fibril_late;
6/20/14

Nepotism

Inexperienced = Dangerous

What nonsense, this decision
To assign to the neophyte,
Be the Bronchoscopy nurse
Like a boxer in his first fight,
Who has had no previous training
What's there to know? just make a fist,
Well, the Doctor surely noticed
And he was properly pissed.

Sure, I knew about it yesterday
When Mother made that dumb decision,
And she wasn't even here today
To see the failure of her vision,
And her favorite little newbie
Won't speak up, to say, "Not me,
I know that I'm not qualified
I've never done it, can't you see?"

What a team they make, these two
This mother and her son,
The two of them are dangerous
When all is said and done,
She can not see his weakness
And he say's "yes", to everything,
Boldly going, where he should not
While mother coos and sings.

When I arrived, the Doctor fumed
And spoke his pretty piece,
I totally agreed with him
About the boiling grease,
Then I volunteered my services
For the next Bronchoscopy,
An expert for that procedure
Of course, that would be me.

Advanced airway skills?; check
Expert Cardiac, of course,
Highly trained in procedural sedation
I could anesthetize a horse,
Code-Blue master, of renown
A crash and burn magician,
Or just assign, the newbie nurse
Ya, that's our public mission.

Well, there were no complications
At Bronchoscopy number one,
But I'm sure if that had happened
Mother, would still have coddled her son.

Fibril_late;
6/18/14

Buccal Fever

I derive no pleasure having my teeth cleaned, except hanging out with a hot little number, known as Dental Dana.

Dental Dana 26

Dental Dana

Sweet as ever,

I’m her fulcrum

And she’s the lever,

Plying her tools

On my teeth and gums,

She’s probably thinking

I’m real dumb.

Because,

I never seem to floss enough,

My Tartar buildup

Is Dodge Ram tough,

With crowded teeth

And inflammation,

She must think

I’m an aberration.

First that Ultrasonic

Scaling screech,

Then she buffed my teeth

With household bleach,

Causing a cataclysmic

Buccal clench,

Oh, Dental Dana

What a wench!

Dental Dana 27

Dental Dana

Is at the top of my list,

Of the sweetest girls

I never kissed.

When she leans over me

With her scented mask,

I can hardly manage

To stay on task,

I’m not supposed

To move at all,

I’m dependent on

Her beck and call.

“Turn your head

Now, clench your jaw”,

While I’m dreaming of carrots

And all things raw,

Yes, that Dana

Gets me overthinking,

It’s no wonder

I go home, start drinking.

Coffee!

To the nth degree,

It slows me down

Like a cold iced-knee,

Brings me back

To my senses, man,

‘Twas just a teeth cleaning

I better stick to the plan.

Keeping my eye

On that hygiene chick,

Watching every single

Flick of her Bic,

Planning my next move

Four months from now,

Today was a bust

See you later, and Ciao.

Fibril_late;

6/5/14

Dental Dana 28

Dental Dana

Gave me a frown,

Busted my molar

And stole my crown,

Then, she called me

A nasty pest,

Because she leaned over

And I bit her breast.

I couldn’t help it

I was in pain,

They didn’t give me

The Novocaine,

No laughing gas

Or acupuncture,

So I was desperate

At that juncture.

She got close to me

And I took a bite,

I didn’t know if

It was day or night,

Writhing

In that dental chair,

But she really screamed

When I pulled her hair.

Dental Dana

She’s a ball of fire,

I begged her, Honey

Don’t ever retire,

Because every time we meet

It’s an exciting event,

In the future, could you possibly

Give consent?

Fibril_late;

6/5/14

Family

I have a family
Yes, way out here,
In the hinterlands
Of Nursing, dear,
We know each other
Thru deeds we done,
A lot of misery
But we had fun.

Shared laughs between
Our brethren, yes,
Under the bridge
We shared duress,
And now we approach
The other side,
To me, it has been
A helluva ride.

When I cross over
I won't compare,
To Billy-Bob
He's over there,
Keeping an eye on me
He knows, what I done,
The best that I could
And it included fun.

Fibril_late;
6/4/14

Knock on Wood

Underside Bob, people call for me all day long........and I am not exaggerating. Heck, even the patient's notice everyone is calling for me to solve some sort of thing. I just hope they're not calling me other nasty stuff. Not because of my feelings.........screw that..........I just want to be helpful.


Hazing, in Nursing
It happens all the time,
Every where I have worked
This industrial crime,
Some have labelled it
Eating our young,
I hope, I haven't done it
Though I'm sure my words have stung.........

Only after the 10th time
I offered the same instruction,
I admit, I have a hard time
Watching potential destruction,
While trying to be unobtrusive
Mentoring, as is my role,
Preceptorship is part of it
Lego-blocks becoming whole.

I hope they never said
The reason, they finally gave up,
Was because Underside Bob
Kept dumping out their cup.

There have been times
When I had to block a motion,
Where safety and outcomes
Would be destroyed with your potion,
But then, I offered options
Other choices, on the menu,
You would be praised as the smart one
Acting in this venue.

From early on I've played
The fearless, go-to guy,
Diving right in
When things have gone awry,
While knowing my boundaries
And gathering the facts,
A couple of extra Aces?
Of course, my deck is stacked!

And my role as an expert
Is to make you look good,
Don't be oversensitive
Praise is coming; knock on wood!

Fibril_late;
6/4/14

Speaking in Greek

Unwinding? I read a variety of news sources. This has nothing to do with "keeping up" with ordinary life or politics. It's all about the foibles of humanity; something about seeing how bad WE can be. Realizing that we are below the level of most animals on this beautiful planet. Where life is all just one combo thing. It brings me back to the Zero of all things. Existence.

An insatiable appetite
For news, but not really,
I use it for distraction
Beyond the touchy feely,
Part of every workday
Where I'm saturated in the now;
Inside of my mind, all of that
When I'm dragging the daily plow.

Sure, I stay up late
Drinking a glass of wine, or two,
Reminds me of a few good friends
Where we share our Nursing view,
Celebrating properly
We're still alive and aware,
Knowing too much, in our own way
Human service-providers, our job to care.

We talk about those things that we know
Comrades in arms, so to speak,
Talk to family about this?
Would be like speaking in Greek.

Fibril_late;
6/3/14

Frivolous Fluff

More about them

Too much about me,

When I read what I’ve written

That’s what I see,

So, let me return

To the old days of yore,

When stories were fun

And not such a chore.

Where is the funny?

That I used to write,

Perhaps it was driven

By, working at night,

When my sleep deprived brain

Unearthed silly stuff,
Nonsense behaviors
And frivolous fluff.

We’ve all become so serious

In our responsible society,

No more room for silly pranks

And Steve, had such variety,

Like the fake video camera

Made from the toilet paper roll,

Do that now, I’d lose my license

And I’d be busting rocks of coal.

50 milliliter syringes

Were the best for water fights,

Silly jokes with the morgue cart

On the busiest of nights,

Frisbee in the hallways

In Radiology, what a hoot,

Do any of that today?

By golly, you’d get the boot.

I used to post my writings

On the wall, for all to see,

No one was offended

Other nurses, just like me,

Because I wrote about the day to day

The things we shared together,

I can not do that anymore

There’s been a horrid change of weather.

Political corrected-ness

Has buried us in crap,

Worse than the “Charcoal Stools”

That landed in my lap,

Way back in crazy yesteryear

When I launched, the Underside,

Zero-Tolerance nonsense

Has become America’s bride.

The EMR computer folks

They audit us, oh yes they do,

Reminders on a monthly basis

For Billy-Bob and Mary Lou,

About the things we left out

These are reprimands, and never praise,

Insinuating, with a shrug and smile

Why we rarely get a raise.

The joke is on us

We stuck around too long,

Yet, new Nurses can’t get hired

To replace the Geriatric throng,

Of grumpy curmudgeons

Who aren’t afraid to speak out,

Registered Nurse experts

We don’t whimper and pout.

Healthcare in general

Is safer, for Public Joe,

But for the Nurse in the field

It’s a tough row to hoe,

Thus proving, it’s too hard

To have fun at work, any more,

Just writing about it

Seems like a chore.

But still, I can’t quit

And neither will Steve,

Somewhere there’s a prank

That we must play, before we leave,

Short-sheeting a bed

Goldfish in the new pond,

That’s what I’m planning

Before I greet the great beyond.

Fibril_late;

6/1/14