Nurses working in the hospital see the grossest things when it comes to secretions, oozings, leakings, etc. Only a few of us can make it rhyme. Here we have a patient, attempting to come to terms with the pus collection in thier lung; and it seems as though the relationship has soured a bit. Let's listen in.............

My Little Empyema

Oh, my little empyema
My little pus collection,
When you cavitate my lung fields
It's time for some correction.

I thought we had a compromise
A game of give and take,
You could suck up my alveoli
And make my chest wall ache,
But you took the bad advantage
And filled my chest with goo,
I'm left with little recourse
About what to do with you.

I'll use the mighty Trocar
And pierce my chest with glee,
Attach thoracic suction
And you'll be gone from me,
Please take this as a warning
Because I'm bullish on protection,
Should you sneak inside my chest again
I'll get a lung resection.

Fibril_late; 3/94