Quarantine Shopping

Wow: who would think that after SARS, MERS, H1N1............that someday soon, we the world would be totally schnockered by another Coronavirus? Not a single one of us medical professionals who worked during those other dangerous events, would ever have thought that less than 10 years later, the whole world would be attacked. Shame on us, right?

But still, one needs to consider shopping for the totally unexpected.

We are quarantine ready
In our locality region,
Pretending I'm isolated
Like a remote Norwegian,
We stocked up all week
Getting ready for the bunker,
Both cars are gassed up
Although one is a clunker.

I shopped twice at Costco
And also, Trader Joes,
We hit the asian markets
Because, who knows?
We need a wide range of sustenance
Amer-asian sourced and all,
In our western remote location
Don't bother to call.

We have a punji stick sidewalk
And a rottweiler garden,
Automatic weapons
Lasered sighted, beg your pardon,
We must protect all our stuff
Because who knows what is coming,
And it's one, two, three
Are the lyrics I'm humming.

But what did I buy?
You might ask a pro,
I've had so many years
To decide, yes or no,
The kinds of things needed
And it ain't toilet paper,
Not if I'm going to die
In the Coronavirus caper.

I want to eat and drink
My favorite foods,
All things delightful
The best of all goods,
According to my plan
After six decades of study,
Salt and chocolate are here
Like an old time buddy.

Ok, sure I must accomodate
Others on hand,
I took their requests
It worked out as I planned,
Because first and foremost
I have to honor my mate,
Should we survive armageddon
Then she's still my date.

The List:
50+ Lbs Rice
25+ Lbs Flour
5 Lbs pasta
6 bottles wine
24 cans beer
4 Lbs Sanders Sea Salt chocolates
1  Gal Costco Ice cream
Tamari sauce
Mixed salted nuts
Lettuce in garden
Drugs galore
Netflix, Prime and digital library

Methanol Cure

You would have to be a cave hermit, to know nothing about the Coronavirus, COVID-19, Beer virus...and the accompanying hysteria. Situations of this nature often lead people to make very poor choices, in respect to their own safety. When ignorance, lack of education, fear, illiteracy, and dependence on various forms of dubious information (rumor, social media, gossip, etc), guide your choices; perhaps drinking Methanol or Bleach (MMS-Miracle Mineral Solution) will work to protect you from whatever ails you.

Did you see the news
Regarding the methanol cure?
Will it protect you from Virus?
In a way, that's for sure,
Because, if you're a believer
You drink it and then you die,
You conquered the infection
On your very first try.

https://nypost.com/2020/03/10/dozens-of-iranians-die-from-alcohol-poisoning-in-attempt-to-fight-coronavirus/

Crazy Milkshake

In the course of looking through archives of prior writings, I found a couple poems from 1985 that had not caught up to the collection. Folks, that's a long time ago, but still, 7 years into my healthcare career I was already battered. As a result, something triggered one of those visceral memories of crazy nonsense and I immediately wrote the following: (Actually, I loved working Recovery, but still.......)

You are driving me crazy

And it's all your fault,

First, you asked for a milkshake

Then complained, it wasn't a malt,

You preferred low-sodium crackers

Then said, they weren't very salty,

Now, I'm beginning to think

Your cognition is faulty. 

For a while I could accommodate

The forgetting and confusion,

After all, you were totally doped up

But now it's a forgone conclusion,

That you are a user of something

Unlisted on your preop discovery,

Totally skewing our assessment

During procedural recovery.

Well, as I mentioned once before

Ones real self is exposed at this time,

When your barriers are drugged

Showing the hidden-under slime,

That slithers beneath the surface

Of your facade of normality,

Now all I have to figure out

Is how to prevent a fatality.

Other nurses like me 

Were injured by folks like you,

Your little monsters inside

That were hidden from view,

By a cheerful outward countenance

"Oh honey, he wouldn't hurt a fly",

Except when he kicked my into the wall

I had a concussion.............might I die?