The Finger

Over the past ten years quite a few devices have entered the market to help people monitor their heart rhythm at home. Some of them are junk, others work pretty well, some are simple and others ridiculously complicated or too expensive. Personally, I have the AliveCor two finger device that works on Apple IOS or Android, and I have seen the latest iteration of the Apple Watch application which produces a spectacular single lead, real-time tracing. But, you have to have a $1000+ phone and watch, to use it. But over the years, I have discovered that my ability to do a finger palpation of a Radial artery, is as good as any of a variety of techy-devices.

Finger Patent

I should patent my index finger
As an A.Fib detector,
I'll get so much recognition
But that's just conjecture,
Because I'll be bought out
And my finger will be toast,
Device makers are scared of me
Regarding money; they want the most.

I read a lot of studies
Money is spent like crazy,
But I'm beginning to realize
Research vision is hazy,
Focusing on engineering
To make a convoluted machine,
While my Index Finger detector
Is better than anything you've ever seen.

I place my Right Index Finger
On Radial artery Right or Left,
Upstream from the thumb bump
In the anatomical cleft,
With gentle pressure I palpate
And feel the cadence of the beat,
Irregular rhythm is my specialty
And A. Fib is the treat.

After all, you do know
12-Lead ECG,
Is the industry standard
The Bible, the creed,
Required for billing
For codes ICD-9,
With my patented finger
I know I'll do fine.

I can imagine a future
With royalties flowing in,
A simple device that mimics my finger
A bluetooth gadget with spin,
Proving that touch is superior
To the usual scary machine,
There's bound to be a paradigm shift
"Give me the finger", if you know what I mean.