Patty-Cake

I haven't written on this particular theme in quite sometime, but any bedside nurse will agree, this is a stinky subject. Frankly, I have penned an awful lot of crappy rhymes, over the years.

Poo Poo patty-cake
Practice your ability,
A simple test
Regarding GI motility,
The bane of all Nurses
Having to deal with all that crap,
And please listen to me
We don't want it in our lap.

Don't play the revenge game
When we turn you in bed,
Please don't bear down
And make your face turn red,
Because I'll flip you over
Back on your bottom,
Wink at my pal, saying
This time I got him.

Sure, it's kind of funny
When you rip a loud one,
Only if it's empty
Like an unloaded gun,
Because, if I get splattered
I won't be singing, "You're So Vain",
I'll be thinking Chernobyl
And acid rain.

Too much poo poo patty-cake?
We order a Flexiseal,
A miraculous invention
That's how we deal,
And it helps with the odor
Until emptying time,
Then it's the same old crap
Except, this stuff is slime.