High Expectations; Low Standards

I'm on the mailing list of various Nurse recruiters. Recently there was an ad placed looking for an RN, at a hospital I recently worked at. The qualifications were: High School diploma or equivalent (G.E.D.); plus satisfactory completion of a formal Registered Nurse program pursuant to the Division of Allied Health Professions or military training that is equivalent to an accredited Registered Nurse program. Wow, those qualifications are kind of weak...........so I got to thinking about Hospital X.

Easy Job at Hospital X

Good old Hospital X
Has a job for me,
Cuz all they ask for
Is a G.E.D.,
Along with a basic
License for Nursing,
You just memorize scripts
And practice rehearsing.

You don't need to know much
Just smile and wave,
Fluff the pillows
And be a good slave,
And if you're ever asked
About your education,
Mumble some credentials
With obfuscation.

At Orientation
They emphasize certain rules,
That are never enforced
I ask, what kind of fools?
Can run a business like that
A hospital, for goodness sake,
Where every employee is on the phone
During the hours they are awake.

In Recovery, after your procedure
You started bleeding,
Joe holds pressure on your artery
At the same time, he's reading,
About the the latest pistol
Using the phone, in his other hand,
Sure doesn't look smart to me
But we can't make him understand,
If the rules aren't enforced
Until a sentinel event,
That means, until it's too late
And there's no chance to repent.

Precious Flower
Works intensive care,
She charts with earplugs on
Watching Vanity Fair,
No attention on the monitor
For yonder patient, Jack,
Work-time hours watching YouTube;
Don't have a heart attack.

Nurse; can you read an EKG?
Not really, but I have a Monitor Tech,
Hope they are not using their cellphone
Wait a minute, let me check,
But aren't these all Heart patient's
Under your care?
There are some things you must know
As important as breathing air.

Sensible policies
Without enforcement,
Can you trust the care
With this kind of endorsement?
While the public is influenced
With colorful advertising,
Unsafe practices are the norm
Broken rules, not surprising.

Yep, good old hospital X
Will hire me soon,
No more Orientation
We’ll just chant and hum a tune,
Because it was clearly a waste
Training twelve turtles,
About best practices
When they couldn’t run hurdles.