Stranglers

We have a couple stranglers
Gracing the ward tonight,
On their call-lights all the time
Their demands are out of sight,
Re-arrange my pillows
All ten of them, this way,
I need a sandwich, sweetie
And a little perfume spray.

Why does that alarm
Keep ringing every hour,
I didn't like my dinner
This yogurt is sour,
I don't give a damn
If you're saving my life,
Say, could you call my girlfriend
But, don't tell my wife?

This is how we go crazy
It's called TPSD,
Terrible Patient Stress Disorder
Could happen to you, just like me,
There is a shaking of the fist
While mumbling and cussing,
An explosion of breath
And a whole lot of fussing.

We run to a comrade
For strength in this fight,
Look each other in the eye
And say, “It’s only one night”,
Because TPSD
Feels like crucifixion,
I think I’ll call in sick tomorrow
With a creative affliction.