Weighing in, in the east corner, is Popeye's nemesis, Bluto, topping 600 Lbs....

Save a Nurse

Morbidly Obese
Means your weight is killing you,
I'll be perfectly frank
It's killing me too.

It took 6 of us Nurses
To turn you for your bath,
Instantaneous injuries resulted -
Can you do the math?

You expect a compassionate nurse
And rightfully, so,
Do you ever wonder
Where did they go?
Check the Workman's Comp record
And look up their names,
Back and shoulder injuries
Are the name of the game.

In the course of my career
Starting, in nineteen seventy eight,
500 pound patients
Weren't on the plate,
Now it's every 5th admit
Demanding, gold-plated care,
While 4 imported nurses
Could fit on your chair!

Well, I've got a plan
For weighty problems of your type,
Our cleanup crew is shorthanded
And the odor is ripe,
If you'll just hop out of bed
And join us in room four,
You can assist in rolling Bluto
He weighs six-fifty four,
Perhaps you'll be inspired
To drop 100 K,
Knowing deep in your heart
You can save a Nurse that way!

Fibril_late;
1/31/09