I can't keep silent about the epidemic of obesity. This particular person weighed greater than 900 Lbs! We didn't have human-lifting equipment large enough to accommodate this fellow, so it usually fell upon the shoulders and backs of 8 people. Our CCU was small, so there were never 8 people working. We would have to enlist help from nurses from another ICU to help us. Now, everytime I see people walking around who are >300 pounds, I think, there goes another Nurse killer. Because someday (and probably soon) that person will be floundering in a hospital bed somewhere, incapable of moving themselves, and ultimately may play a part in ruining someone's career with a back injury.

Just Attracting Flies

He's a whale of a man
And he's beached upon our floor,
He gained a hundred pounds
And he won't fit through the door,
Moving him is murder
He's busting nurses backs,
We lost a couple good ones
When they died of heart attacks.

We'll have to size and quarter him
If he ever dies,
Otherwise he's trapped here
Just attracting flies,
Or maybe we will witness
An angelic intervention,
We're praying pretty hard
For chariot ascension.

But, I have some major doubts
If Saint Peter will allow,
An admission into heaven
Who requires so much chow,
His afterworld departure
Will therefore be delayed,
He'll have to stay on earth
Until he has decayed.

Fibril_late; 9/94