Friday, December 23, 2016

Retention Enemy

From the Crappy Ideas Department:

When there is a Flexiseal Rectal drain in place: It can be used to perform a "retention" enema, or to load some liquid antibiotic such as Vancomycin directly into the colon...........Do remember, it must later be unclamped to allow to drain.

Retention Enemy

Flexiseal Mechanics
Section Number One,
Retention enema
Is like loading a gun,
Why, you might ask?
Well, it’s locked, loaded and hot,
Time to pull the trigger
To release the shot.

Please release me, let me go
Let my diarrhea flow,
Open that thing now, or you will regret,
The explosion of crap
That makes everything wet.

Be careful where you stand
Towards the head, at the rear,
Pad the bed in layers
And yell, "All Clear",
Wear protective clothing
With a perfumed mask,
These are the necessities
To best perform the task.

Frankly, it's simple
It's just Physics, Bub,
The dude was compacted
With weeks of grub,
That couldn't get out
Because his gut had a cramp,
After last week's surgery
By the reconstruction champ.

Bowel obstruction
Is a dangerous thing,
Toxic constipation
Till you finally blow a ring,
On that old clunky engine
Of the '44 Chevy,
Gut fluids leak out
Like a flood breached levee.

Retention enemy
Number one,
If you didn’t unclamp it
Just hightail it, and run!

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