Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Uh oh, what's that on the X-ray?


No, this is not something that recently happened at work. However, the facts are out there; tools are sometimes (rarely) left behind in a surgical wound, and folks definitely do swallow ridiculous items.

Oh, someone left scissors
In Billy-Bob's gut,
They thought at the time
It will pass from his butt,
And about three weeks later
As they waited to collect them,
Scissors and a Rolex
Passed out of his rectum.

Have stranger things happened?
Oh, undoubtedly so,
Folks swallow strange things
To impress their new beau,
Like bedsprings and batteries
And cigarette lighters,
Cell-phones and coins
After drinking all-nighters,
Only to wonder
About a ringing in her gut,
She says, "I'll answer it later"
When it exits my butt.

One might consider this
The original sin,
Be it surgery, or stupidity
Be careful what goes in,
And use caution, young fellow
On the potty, don't push,
'Cuz, if you swallowed razor blades
They will slice-up your tush.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Out of Whack


On May 30th, I wrote about an instance where a Cardiac Rhythm was misinterpreted by an EKG machine, and then also, a variety of healthcare workers.
Well, it happened again, in a very similar way.

Admitted late
Ten o'clock at night,
Misinterpreted heart rhythm
Oh, what a fright,
The Cardiologist nailed it
The next day, what I'm saying,
An Atrial tachycardia
With 2:1 playing.

All nurses
Called it Sinus Tach,
But they were totally
Out of whack,
This guy
With chronic Atrial Fib,
To have Sinus Tach
Doth tickle a rib,
And a regular fixed rate
Right around one-twenty,
Screams A. Tach with block
Good and plenty.

When it finally became irregular
The nurse called it A.Fib,
Then phoned the doctor
To tickle his rib,
I proposed it was never
Not ever Sinus tach,
Whatever you were calling it
Was totally whack.

Finally, on day three
After adding beta blocker,
His rate slowed down
Atrial flutter, no shocker,
Looking exactly
Like his rhythm, 3 months back,
Had they looked at that EKG
No one would call it, Sinus Tach.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Grief


Despite the fact that many of us have been present at the death of hospital patient's (100++) , it is never anything like the loss of someone we know, or feel close to.

It is hard to express, because really, words are inadequate.

Grief

An aura of grief
Is surrounding you,
Please know, we care
And pray for healing,
We feel loss
And sadness too,
'Tis, but a shadow
Of what you're feeling.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Old Job


Four months have passed since switching the job and the hospital; I needed that much time to cool off. However, I had made it known when I left, that I might be available in the future to work some extra hours, if requested. A week ago I worked an extra 10-hour shift, and as Yogi Berra said, "It's deja vu all over again". (http://yogiberramuseum.org/just-for-fun/yogisms/).

Yep, we got crushed after 5:30 PM, because 55% of the staff went home, leaving 3 of us to thrash about. Incidentally, when I arrived at 12:30, I took over the Cardioversion patient, where I needed to administer Ibutilide (his rhythm did not convert, so he still required a shock). Then, at 1430, the patient who had undergone V.Tach (epicardial) Ablation, general anesthesia with severe sleep apnea, had in-dwelling Arterial and 2 venous sheaths in his bilateral groins; arrived, barely arousable and exhibiting guppy-breathing. Twenty minutes later, he required STAT re-intubation, and immediate delivery to the CSICU!
Yep, we were off to the races.

I returned
To the scene of the crime,
To work a rescue shift
And earn an extra dime,
My old-world job
At the mother house, mister,
I felt like
The prodigal sister.

I established some ground rules
I will only work with Ell,
She can protect me
When the scene goes to hell,
In the usual fashion
Every day after five,
Only time would tell
If we got out alive.

A close call, it was
'Twas a ten hour flog,
I felt like I was beaten
With a crusty oak log,
And at the end of our tour
At twenty-three thirty,
The two of us felt
Pummeled and dirty.

This experience affirmed
Why I left the dollar store,
I need a low-stress venue
To complete my final chore,
Working for the family
An assistant supporting role,
Make it out of this alive
Preserving sanity and soul.


Sunday, July 10, 2016

Skin Deep


In lieu of the fact that I have another Dermatology appointment tomorrow (after working tonight I will have tired skin), I wrote #5 in the Skin series.

Skin Deep

What they say is
Beauty is only skin deep,
Some spend thousands of dollars
And lose a fair amount of sleep,
Attempting to keep it perfect
Thinking, it’s part of my charm,
The pills, potions and treatment
Often causing much harm.

All Dr. K, ever says
Is protect from the Sun,
When you’re playing outdoors
In the midst of your fun,
Slather on sunscreen
So you look something like Crisco,
You will fit right in
Visiting San Francisco.

7/11/16

Bloody Smell


Revisiting an ancient theme
I encountered a smell
That made me scream,
Despite the absence
I do not need,
To be reacquainted
With the G.I. bleed.

I previously
Pointed out,
How an odor like this
Is bad for one's snout,
On a scale of one hundred
It's two hundred and nine,
Sending putrid odors
Up and down my spine,
And frankly, folks
It should be unlawful,
'Cuz the bloody smell
Is frickin' awful.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Dental Dana 51


Dental Dana
Is some kind of hot kitty,
But when she looks at me
I see disgust and pity,
But that doesn't matter
She's a gorgeous Goddess,
And I can't keep my eyes off
Her Godly bodice.

The Dentist decides
Who to keep, as a customer, paying,
So if DD wants to stay employed
She will clean my teeth, I'm just saying,
And put up with my comments
Regarding her skills and her shape,
While I'm on that topic
An over-the-head gown
Is way too much drape.

We have to find some compromise
I have lousy teeth, and DD needs to be employed,
I say, just shut yer eyes baby
Who cares how I get enjoyed,
'Cuz quite frankly, it's easy
I just like to gaze,
At my favorite pretty Hygienist
For minutes, hours and days.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Mark-5


Little preamble required on this one, as the majority of us Nurses had to deal with this somewhere in our careers (with an emphasis on rears)!

With a rapid ejection
From his butt,
He expelled all the contents
Of his massive gut,
Like a Mark-5 torpedo
At a high rate of speed,
Then he turned to his Nurse and said
"Isn't it time for me to feed?"