Double Occupancy Room

 

I had 3 different roommates over the course of 13 days. The first one had a serious head injury following an MVA. He was totally disoriented, awake 18 hours a day, 4-point restraints and constantly trying to escape. The second roommate is the subject of the following story.

Stabby Roommate

He does not want a tetanus shot,
Maybe if he had been shot three times
He would throw in his lot,
To have a simple jab
That would provide 10 years of protection,
Better than a Kevlar vest
And natural selection.

He doesn't want wound dressings removed
Because that hurts,
He doesn't want blood drawn
Needles and blood spurts,
He hasn't walked yet
He is here Day #3,
But he wants food and cigarettes
Is what he asks everybody.

Stabby stomach wound
Equates to the Diet called Clears,
To advance in a couple days
He wants smokes and beers,
He was granted a Patch
To curb his cravings,
He's a 20 year old kid
Full of posing and ravings.

Stabby young punk
Brags to compatriots on the phone,
He changes his story each time
Like he is Al Capone,
Some family arrived
Three of them said he was a fool,
Going for a slugfest with girlfriends new man
You called him out to the yard
And he pulled out a sharp tool,
And oops, your rival had backup
With a knife also…………..

So you jumped in your car
Gushing blood all over,
Drove to a closed Mercy Clinic
And finally you called 911
They saved you from pushing up clover.

And still I overheard
Your secret silly recovery plan,
You’re going to hunt down your rival
And put him down like a man.

Stabby Roomate
What a kid,
Only one family praised you
For what you did,
And you get sent home with a walker
Now, that is a piece of work,
You need to go to school kid
And become a postal clerk;
Or at least, something useful.