Like a Dog

Momma said, "If you don't like the heat, stay out of the frying pan"..

Like a Dog

Another crazy busy day

But here is what I thought,

I’m a critical-care nurse

And this is what I bought,

I learned to prioritize

And sort the greatest need,

Should I get Billy Bob a sandwich?

Or assess Mary Lou’s bleed.

The writing on the wall

Puts the pedal to the metal,

I just gotta deal with it

And wait for the dust to settle,

And I won’t complain

That I missed a 15-minute break,

Mary Lou has issues

Her life is at stake.

I ride a bicycle to work

My body is healthy,

I’m willing to work hard

(Not being wealthy),

And Mary Lou is why

I have chosen this profession,

I’m working for her

It’s a simple confession.

Her needs are greater than mine

Her safety is paramount,

How many breaks I’ve missed?

I don’t bother to count,

And even if I waited

Eight hours for a meal,

I’m not so important

That’s just how I feel.

I carry snack bars in my pockets

And need just one cup of coffee,

It’s extra special fine

If there’s some chocolate or toffee,

Because my needs are simple

And patient needs are greater,

If I miss a 15-minute break

I won’t collapse in a Lunar crater.

Some Nurses won’t like it

When I am around,

I’ll take a heavy load

Like yer good old bloodhound,

Maybe I am like a dog

That nevers knows when to sit,

Chasing a favorite ball

He won’t pause or quit.

Yup, just another busy day

There will be more, exactly the same,

Do you have what it takes

To be a contender in this game?

If you’re wimpy or whiny

You don’t like busy or hard,

Hold a sign at the Freeway

Or chase snails in your yard.

Fibril_late;

5/1/14

Battery Powers

I bring to work each day, the best of me. I have never let my off-duty life, dictate how I might perform at work. I bring 12 hours of Super-Power, High-octane, 110%+ each and every time........for 30+ years (and counting). I've gone to work with 2 hours sleep behind me........those I won't brag about, but I did it. But my awake time was full bore, Resource-go-to, kind of stuff. Some of us were cut out to do that; and I have pulled it off. How?...I never stop learning. I read about Cardiology and Critical Care Medicine every single week.

If you don't keep up; you don't!

Battery Powers

I need to remain
Less attached,
To the nuances and
Origins, of just who was snatched,
And to tend to my garden
The plants that I own,
And keep me away
From the gol-durned phone.

I need to ignore
That I know what is known,
All things that are needed
I don't have to own,
Yes, that is the secret
Of satisfaction and success,
But, too bad that isn't true
Without me, it's a mess.

Call me over-responsible
I expect what is best,
Every day is a challenge
A personal test,
Along side of me, I want
Persons doing that too,
At the end of the night
I wish it was you.

I'm not the best
But I try to be each day,
To perform at a level
Where our patient's might say,
They felt secure and well informed
And their Nurse, was so kind,
I strive to be like that
That is a rare Nurse to find.

I am tired, I admit
Near the end of 12 hours,
After working so hard
My battery powers,
Might dwindle and flicker
Like a flashlight, near its end,
Just shake me a few times
I might get a spark I can spend.

Fibril_late;
4/26/14

Down-Beaten

Down-beaten at work
I can barely write,
We commiserate and complain
Because it's not worth the fight,
When our complaints are not acted on
Patient safety, be damned,
Night after night
We Closers are slammed.

We've got a hot new unit
It sure is pretty,
21 beds, same nurses
And our outlook is gritty,
Naturally, more patients
Can hang out with us,
At the end of our shift
Nothing to do, but cuss.

Then, we are reprimanded
"Too much overtime!"
Charge Nurse stays late
Like we committed a war crime,
They are not effective laborers
Their attention is on the dollars,
Running around, disorganized
Like juvenile installers.

After 12 hours
The money is dandy,
But when I get home
I want a brewsky, not candy,
The chocolate was at work
For a quick energy fix,
At home I might reach for
Blue Moon, one to six.

Relaxing? yes..........
Not so good for one's health,
I'm aging painfully
And pondering my wealth,
Knowing another four years
Would be ideal, to retire,
But can I survive the duration
Or Go Postal, and get fired?

Fibril_late;
4/24/14

Rant of Frustration

Things (where I work) are a huge pain in the neck, now that we have moved into our new unit. My *"Well Known Hospital" system, is all about public image and branding and la la la la................while crushing the life out of the workers. In the past two years they have outsourced Dietary, Laboratory, Medical Records, Housekeeping, Staffing, etc.

 The latest debacle is a computer based "Tele-Tracking" bed placement, Transporter Directory, bed and pillow locator all rolled into one. Previously, Transporters were Unit based, meaning that Radiology would own some and Cath Lab / Surgery would own some, and we had one and so on. Now, all Transporters are in one big pool, and they are directed by pager to respond to all calls (lumped into some kind of queue), the end result being, when I request a wheelchair or need to transport my patient somewhere, I don't have a clue, how long it is going to take somebody to show up. Previously a phone call to our own transporter, would have answered that question. 

Our own Unit transporter, they were the ones that would do the Hair Clipping for the preop-preps, which can be hugely time consuming (for the open heart patients). Hairy apes can take 45 minutes to an hour. Patients come to us a day or two before surgery to get Labs, Xray, teaching, meet the Anesthesiologist, maybe have a PFT and so on. This typically takes about 3 hours, and now the RN, is assigned the Salon job too. Lets see, I think that means having the $60 dollar per hour hair cutter, instead of the previous $20 dollar per hour technician to do the same job. The RN is then reprimanded by the Charge Nurse, "Why are the pre-ops taking longer now?". 

And now, we have become the designated Procedural Sedation Nurses, for the Bronch Lab that is adjacent to our Unit. I like doing them, but then I am out of the Unit for at least two hours for Prep, Procedure and Recovery, which can have a major impact on my fellow nurses elsewhere. 

If a genuine "work-flow" study were done, these glaring inefficiencies would be revealed. But you and I know the answers; Management doesn't give a damn. They know that the public will love our pretty shiny new Unit/building and workers can always be replaced, preferably by someone younger, less experienced, and thus, lower paid.

Can I put up with this another four years? I truly don't know.

Serenity Prayer - Fail

Most of us in this Grand Ole Land of milk and honey and AA styled programs (12 Steps), have heard of the Serenity prayer (Author: Reinhold Niebuhr). It starts off like this: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. It continues onward with all sorts of good words and ideas, and truly is serene, but may not reflect reality. It is shrouded in quasi-religious feel-good babble, and just might be the best darn thing to repeat as a group, if you believe in Sin and weakness. But in the hospital setting, where people come to find answers regarding their bodies, and we do stuff to them with sharp pointy things and powerful drugs, I can not allow myself the Serenity, to accept things that I can not change, not when lives are at stake!. My "higher power" is Education, and I while I work my one day at a time, I expect of myself and all others, the highest degree of performance and knowledge. I can not tolerate stupidity and ignorance, and must speak out against it. 

Oh, I'm frustrated

After today's Kindergarten session,

A couple, short-attention-spanners

Left a heckuva impression, 

On my potential longevity

If this situation doesn't change,

What I need is a human cannon

To send them way down range.

Too many errors of inexperience

I can no longer ignore,

This couple of newbies

Need to find the nearest exit door,

After six months of coaxing and cooing

Happy smiles and sweetness, doth fail,

Failing to study, refusing to learn

They rejected the Holy Grail.

Fibril_late;

4/12/14

Mentoring is Guiding

Swim or Sink

New Nurses;

I want to inspire,

I want them like me

Willing to run towards a fire,

I want them to study

Their favorite interest,

More in depth

Than photo's on Pinterest.

New Nurses

You have to leap into the saddle,

If you seem uninterested

I'll hit you with a paddle,

Because if you claim you are learning

But you do stupid stuff,

There will come a time

When I've had enough.

Then I will ignore

I won't offer assist,

You can flounder your way

Into the fatal abyss,

If you ask for my help

I will do what is right,

But I won't hold your hand

Into the darkness of night.

New Nurses

Have to be motivated,

Intelligence and effort

Are not overrated,

A passion for learning

Is a professional demand,

If you don't acquire more knowledge

You'll be stuck where you stand.

Some older Nurses

Don't want to learn about new,

At my EKG class

I always meet one or two,

I'm shocked by their complacency

Their unwillingness to grow,

What kind of fool is that?

Not a colleague I want to know.

I like working with scholarly types

Others striving to be the best,

Persons not completely satisfied

Passing one simple test,

Because I meet folks like that

They took one class and quit,

Apparently, that's enough

If you just want to sit.

New Nurses

I encourage them to study,

I am happy to mentor

I'm a professional buddy,

But its a two way street

Payback, one might say,

You need to be a good student

And do things my way.

In time you will be comfortable

Self-assured with good skills,

Critical thinking

Beyond bed baths and pills,

But you have to keep learning

Today and beyond,

Don’t bother to do that

And you’ll drown in the pond.

Fibril_late;

4/6/14

Fools of April

On Our Heads

It has been a dull, boring year

For inspiration,

So I’m in a learning phase

Out of desperation,

I'm lackadaisical

And procrastinating,

I'm not excited

Standing and waiting.

At my maximum moment

Of absolute uninspired,

The powers that be

Say, "New programs are required",

To satisfy

Regulatory demands,

We must stand on our heads

While clapping our hands.

Another JACO visit

And to prove we're not lazy,

A sheaf of papers to memorize

Management goes crazy,

Reminding and scolding

Rolled up, neat and tidy,

Then they sent me home early

I'll be gone until Friday.

Surveyors should be gone

Maybe the Boss will have praises,

Though it doesn't really matter

There sure won't be any raises,

Those are destined for the team

Dean Lloyd and his crew,

Not even a Starbucks card

For any of you.

Yes, just business as usual

This undignified caring,

Human kindness as branding?

As a slogan, is overbearing.

Fibril_late;

4/1/14

Death Never Goes Away

What with all of the
Death and dying,
Moaning, wailing
People crying,
Bodies never found
Or less,
A bomb goes off
A bloody mess.

Is it better?
To find the remains,
Self-inflicted
The skull and brains,
Blasted on the
Walls and ceiling,
I'd rather not
There's too much feeling.

A plane goes missing
No bodies found,
A murdered spouse
Buried in the ground,
Decomposition
Oh, where did they go?
Insects and vermin
They might know.

The end result
Oh, it's the same,
Our time on earth
Is like a picture frame,
A snapshot of life
Poof!... then we're gone,
Pushing up daisies
At Forest Lawn.

Although we seem pretty smart
We don't appear to learn,
That our existence is but
A simple turn,
On the chessboard of life
There's a beginning and end,
Really, no surprises
So why pretend,
And similarly
The crying and wailing,
Attachment and memories
That's our failing.

Fibril_late;
3/28/14

Grape Cleanse

Most of the old remedies, now described as "folk medicine", have been replaced by Pharmaceutical pills and potions, that are no better (and commonly worse) than what our ancestors knew to work. Just take a look at the list of ingredients on your average pill. Fillers and colors, preservatives and toxic unknowns. As kids, if constipation was an issue, down the hatch would go either the Castor Oil, or a glass of water with Magnesium salts. Or maybe your momma had you chew some Senna leaves. Well, a good South American Merlot can do the same...........just like Welch's grape juice, but frankly, more enjoyable (in my opinion).

Grape Cleanse

I drank a bottle of Merlot

Full disclosure?, my intent,

To correct a bloated condition

It was money well spent,

Washing my innards

With grape juice from Brazil,

Worked better than any old

Advertised pill.

Smooth with each swallow

And a buzz to go along,

A gentle washing of the gut

Yes, that’s the Merlot song

Fibril_late;

3/24/14

Over and Over and More

There’s a tilt-a-swirl
Inside my gut,
No matter if
I starve or glut,
It started nine
Long months ago,
Though I think it’s better
Improvement is slow.

There’s a roller coaster
In my colon,
Whenever I eat
Boy, things get rolling,
Up and down
Round and round,
Where it all ends
It will come with a sound

Fart!, I do
With regularity,
Sweet and pleasant?
That's a rarity,
I sleep at night
With my butt aimed west,
So, my bystander wife
Can breathe and rest.

Surely, it's better
Every month that passes,
Although with every meal
There's bloating and gasses,
Which beats diarrhea
Or that problem, constipation,
If one watches the news
That's the problem in this nation.

There's a rock and roll world
In my G.I. tract,
Which I try to hide
It's a daily act,
Concealing the issues
Inherent with methane,
Don't light a match
Or, we'll all be in pain,
And when the ambient odor
Reminds one of a cow,
You'll know I'm around
Not later, right now.

Fibril_late;
3/19/14

Sorority

MEN........we represent a minority in the Nursing workforce. There have been gender stereotypes and labelling over the years, and certainly many misconceptions, but probably the whole battle of the sexes nonsense or sex in the workplace magnetism, is the crux of most conflict. I suppose in the end, just like the "House of Cards", it's all about power.

Sorority

There are things of fantasy

In the duration of career,

New people arrive

One might flirt

Adore and leer,

After all, I'm in a business

As a 10 percent minority,

Just the same as a guy

Pledging a Sorority.

It's true, I'm telling you

Like Dachshunds in heat,

We're a firm minority

And as paramour's we're beat,

Because we are expected

To work right along side,

Gorgeous, beautiful chicks

Who will be someone else's bride.

It's still going on

Oh yes, I can assure,

Promotion of the young

If they're sexy. and endure,

Sure, they have to be bright

As in, the preservation of the species,

And like the rest of us veterans

They just have to love, feces.

Because that is the origin

Of the Underside of nursing,

All that crap we put up with

In spite of our cursing,

Like it was previously laid out

Way back when, by this writer,

In nineteen-ninety two

When things lookied so much brighter.

That was 22 years ago

And this writer grew older,

Still expounding the same message

Albeit, a little bolder,

Because I'll be retiring

A couple of years down the line,

Younger guys, just like me

Must choose and assign.

Sure, this might sound sexist

But WE are the minority,

And those females will decide

Exactly, who is in the Sorority.

Fibril_late;

3/19/14

Yearly Review

We are employees, we are evaluated. In our business it happens yearly, around our date of hire. We participate in "Skills Day", get our annual "TB Test" and go on our merry way.  But, there is always something our "bosses" will focus on..............its their duty.

Yearly Review

An exhaustive review

At my annual Eval,

When my boss examines closely

My employment, pal,

They've been keeping tabs on me

Stored carefully in my file,

The balance beam of Authority

At odds, with my peculiar style.

I won't do phone calls

Stupid Satisfaction Survey,

I don't like Surgical pre-ops

Not within my purvey,

But I do play Flex-Nurse

And temporary Charge,

That's what I'm banking on

My presence, at large.

I keep tabs on the workload

I will know all of the client's,

Histories and procedures

And every known appliance,

I'll know where they came from

And exactly how they'll bleed,

Should a crisis arise

I'm the one that you'll need.

You want to fit me

Into the mold of your dream,

Adjust your preconceptions

Before you let off some steam,

Because my dutiful rescues

Will save you, unexpected,

Just when you thought, "all is lost"

When I'm there, you're protected.

I won't bitch about breaks

I don't really care,

I need a snack on the 4 hours

Patients are needy, I am there,

That's why I work

My 12 hours and more,

It is not about me

This is a client driven store.

Sure, I need to stop

And have a bite to eat,

Everyone needs that kind of thing

But, that's not my beat,

I won't fill out forms

That claim, I didn't rest,

There are people here who need us

And they expect the best.

When I'm on that day

There will be a sense of security,

No matter how nasty it gets

I bring a sense of purity,

That will cut through the bullshit

And get the best things done,

A few of us can offer that

We are the ones.

So, it's my annual review

Boss, I know you have to say your piece,

Currently, you can't live without me

Though, I'm not your favorite niece,

You don't need to offer me Disneyland

No, you need to say, "Dude",

Without you, we would completely

Become totally unglued.

Fibril_late;

2/25/14

Dark Warrior

An expert, incredible nurse in our community, died unexpectedly this past week. I had crossed paths with him on numerous occasions, and trusted his experience and critical judgements. We are at a loss, with his passing.

Those who knew him: I think all would agree he was a true warrior of Nursing.

Dark Warrior

Rumors were posed that

My writings were darkly depressed,

Secret police checking

Exactly how I was dressed,

Combing through my garbage

For clues of a mental break,

A conspiracy of words

I think someone's on the take.

Sure, I've been writing

Like a crazy man, possessed,

Doing the work that we do

Why, every day is a test,

Twelve hours of calamity

Of the good, the bad and more,

Sure enough, it is often rewarding

But other times, it’s a Lion's roar.

Don't get your hopes up folks

I'm not throwing in the towel,

Too many denizens of the deep

Are still out there, on the prowl,

We warriors of the Underside

Are necessary, to protect the needy,

And quite frankly, you gotta admit

I deliver the goods, and I'm speedy.

Fibril_late;
2/17/14
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  

Unpredictable

Friends and colleagues, who
Died earlier than expected,
I had a silly notion, that
Since I knew them, they were protected,
Not by virtue of my mojo
No, I just thought they were invincible,
But the unpredictability of fate
Appears to be the driving principle.

2/18

ACLS

For the oldtimers, we remember that going for ACLS certification, was a stressful event for many practitioners. Instructors used to run demanding mock-codes, where each person played a particular role (and do it right!) and heck, we even practiced endo-tracheal tube placement. I found it challenging and enjoyable, but a lot of people were having PTSD over the whole thing.

Not so anymore; it’s like Nursery school now. No muss, no fuss, no stress………...and half of the students (from all walks of health-care), are still freaked out about basic EKG rhythm. Essentially, most participants, want to be as far away from a Code Blue, as they can.

Are we any better off having namby-pamby ACLS? Are survival rates any better in-hospital? I think we’re doing better, only because Rapid-Response teams have been put in place. If we intervene early, we save people. But if Joe-Bob has a Cardiac or Respiratory arrest, in an abrupt or sneaky fashion, his chance of leaving the hospital alive, still remains iffy.

ACLS

My capnography is rising

Yawn frequency accelerated,

The Instructor’s jokes are pretty lame

And frankly, outdated,

But I really can't complain

This class is always easy,

And a bit humorous to watch

How much the newbies are queasy.

I find it hard to understand

Their trepidation, regarding EKG,

After all, this is ACLS

Cardiac knowledge, so ABC,

But over the years

They've made it simple

Nervous anxiety, a thing of the past,

Silly me, I want a Nurse who knows

How to define rhythm's really fast.

Fibril_late;

2/17/14