Repair Shop

Yester-eve, we did manage to depart with 1.25 Hr overtime, but the truth is, nothing exciting or life-threatening occurred. The last patient shipped out at 2315, and then we were left with late, catch-up charting, office duties and some tidying up. It had been a very busy day, nonetheless. My partner and I were running on fumes at the end, getting goofy and finally stumbled out at 0015. Our Charge Nurse will ask us about that next week........that's a guarantee.

Nothing terribly exciting to report

It's life as usual

Down at the Suck and Snort,

The regulars remain

And entertain themselves,

Some have stayed so long

They belong on the shelves.

Imagine working

At only one job,

Frankly, I can't

I would feel like a blob,

Of secure confined knowledge

Sheltered in place,

Afraid to step outside of

My comfortable base.

We're a mixed up bunch

From all manner of beginnings,

Some days we're losing

And others we're winning,

In an unpredictable business

This repair shop for humanity,

Surely, you can understand why;

We're on the brink of insanity.

The owner is a typical

Miserly cheapskate,

Paying his workers

The lowest damn rate,

Cutting corners on service

Supplies and whatever,

All the while advertising

We are the best and most clever.

Yes, it was a standard good day

And now I'm kicking off my shoe,

The bartender has delivered

It's time to quaff a good brew.

Fibril_late;

2/14/14

Clamor in the Slammer

Arguments, disagreements, reprimands…………..should take place behind closed doors. And never, not ever, should these disturbances be played out in front of the customer / client / patient. It makes the so called “professional”, look like an out of control idiot. Because they are!

Clamor in the Slammer

A lot can be said
More can be thought,
How much is worth repeating?
Wasted words are nought.

Excessive arguing
The same point over and over,
Makes me want to run and jump
In sweet smelling clover,
Pull it up over my shoulders
Protection from discordant clamor,
Folks like that?
I'd like to throw them in the slammer.

And for Godz sake
Do it in the garage, not at work,
If I had a fire hose
I might go berserk,
Like those police tactic
Crowd control measures,
Silence is golden
The greatest of treasures.

A lot can be said
But usually, it's way too much,
And as a Management tool
Those folks are out of touch.

Fibril_late;
2/11/14

Memory Dump

Another sad tale of too much to do..............

Memory Crash

A strange thing happened

Late Friday night,

My brain shut down

Overloaded, to such a height,

Too many darn patients

Taken care of, too fast,

After 13 long hours

I had a memory blast.

Fifteen after midnight

My memory was good,

At twenty after midnight

It was an old piece of wood,

I couldn't remember

Any passwords, they failed me,

I couldn't chart the last four hours

Heck, someone shoulda jailed me,

But there was no dereliction

My physical labors were complete,

Just my memories were dumped

As if my brain were concrete.

No point in staying

We punched out, at One,

After fourteen long hours

We couldn't find any fun,

Despite earning double-time

It wasn't worth it, I declare,

And thank the Devil, it was Friday

'Cause tomorrow, we're not there.

Fibril_late;

2/3/14

Monitor Mention

I'll be the first to admit that cruising the Internet can be very time-consuming, entertaining and primarily distracting. But come on folks, we shouldn't be doing it while we're supposed to be working. When you take your 15 or 30 minute break, go ahead, drop into cruise control; but when you clock back in for work duties, shut the damn thing off! It is an unsafe practice and unprofessional, with the public watching our every move.

Monitor Mention

I've tired myself

With all my observations,

I'm so far beyond

Any consternation,

Regarding the lack

Of professional attention,

But give me a moment?

There's one I'd like to mention.

The Monitor Techs

Of a certain age,

Keep their eyes on the screens

And look at strips on each page,

Comparing this morning

With later afternoon,

With precise,careful viewing

Like watching phases of the moon.

They studied Basic EKG

Intermediate, and more,

Ordered Cardiac Rhythms

From Dr. Marriott's store,

Attended rhythm symposia

Whenever they could,

If Zak Vera said, "read this"

They knew that they should.

But those days are disappearing

A Monitor Tech, is a U. A.,

How many textbooks do they own?

It is really hard to say,

But I suspect it isn't many

Afterall, they took that class,

And if you showed up for 3 days

You couldn't help but pass.

How many books about rhythms

Do I have at my house?

At least ten for me

And one or two for the mouse,

Along with the journals

The articles, and more,

The science keeps growing

Thus, more books at the store.

I am sorry to report

But around fifty percent,

Of Monitor Techs I view

May need to repent,

Regarding smartphone habits

Versus Monitor attention,

Yes, that was the thing

That I wanted to mention.

Fibril_late;

1/30/14

Cry

Another ridiculous assignment, designed and delivered to us by under the rock management. Sorry, I'm just venting after working a 13.75 Hour long shift and dangerously understaffed for the last 5 hours of that.

Cry

Just another stupid shift

Oh, let me tell you why,

Staffing so bad

I could almost cry,

Instead I was cussing

A blue streak and more,

As two going-home patient's

Left their blood on the floor.

One patient was waiting

For a room, all day long,

Thirteen hours on hold

That's one bluesy song,

Filled with hours of pain

Nausea and more,

Praying for some space

On the Oncology floor.

Six patients at 7 pm

Then two of them split,

Now four of them for two of us

But that's just half of it,

One 8 o'clock bleeder

And a sheath-pull at nine,

The other bleeder at 1030

And she was all mine,

With a growing hematoma

And blood-pressure sky high,

Thirty minutes to stop it

And again, I could cry;

Because our night wasn't finished

Finding a room was a chore,

When the bleeder was transferred

We weren't done, there was more,

With duties, like charting

Cleaning and sorting,

Day shift wants a fresh house

Or they will be snorting,

About the things we didn't do

Though we worked so flippin' late,

Lord, if I get laid-off

I will thank my bloody fate!

Fibril_late;

1/9/14

Golf

The return of a “frequent flyer” is something most of us experience in the medical realm. The person who has a health issue that keeps recurring, despite multiple attempts to ameliorate it. This is the story of one gentleman, who suffers from persistent Atrial arrythmia’s. He has undergone several Ablation procedures, and multiple Cardioversions.

On the Green

It's hard to believe

But, he came back again,

Mr. Atrial Fib

For a visit to our pen,

He said that he missed us

Like toast is to butter,

While up on the monitor

I spotted A. Flutter.

He had a nine month reprieve

Post-cardioversion,

What mysterious trigger

Prompted this latest excursion?,

To visit our pad

Of electrical thrills,

Dr. Oneill must be wishing

For some magical pills.

Good for nine months

No Apixaban on board,

He needed an echo

To see if clots could be scored,

If clear, he would earn

An elecrical shock,

January seven?, already

He's punching our clock.

Atrial Flutter

Doesn't require much juice,

One little shock

To attain a testy truce,

Send him off on his way

To destinations, unknown,

Get on with your life

If you need us, just phone.

It was wonderful to see you

In two thousand fourteen,

But the next time we meet

Let it be on the green.

Fibril_late;

1/9/14

Undeniable

Undeniable

Last week I had the pleasure of attending to a delightful gentleman who originally hailed from Ireland. Prior to the previous week, he had never been treated for any “chronic” health conditions, and he was 90 years old. He mentioned that four years back, he did have a hip replacement, that being the only time he had spent time in a hospital. Here was an active member of the community, truly full of life, a recent world traveler, and he didn’t even own a written prescription. Amazing!

Why the story? Because the nurse who called report from the outlying hospital, told me, “(this man) he is certainly in denial, regarding his health”. In regards to her assessment?; she was so far off base, she was out in the parking lot.

He's in denial

That's what she said,

Heck, he's 90 years old

And nowhere's near dead,

He doesn't see a doctor

And never takes medicine,

He's a genius of living

Like good Thomas Edison.

He lives alone

And has never been married,

He works for the church

His life is so varied,

He's in charge of three orphanages

In places far East,

90 years in the making

A heckuva priest.

He's an old time member

At the Ballybunion links,

Where the wind howls like banshees

And old friends raise their drinks,

For a returning old son

Whenever he comes home,

He's 90 years old

And still on the roam.

Is he in denial?

I think not, again,

Undeniably, Father

Is the healthiest of men.

Fibril_late;

1/3/14

After Dinner

To share the experience of an arrhythmia, somewhat common amongst the clientele that we serve in our Department, is quite the conversation piece . However, I think it helps Billy-Bob when I commiserate with him, regarding his Atrial Fibrillation.

About half of all persons with A. Fib are unaware of it, often discovering the problem, when they go to a doctor for some other issue. Not only do I have an in-depth grasp of the phenomena, and I teach Cardiac Monitoring, but I am aware that I'm in A. Fib, within 5 seconds. I am thankful that my Cardiologist, tested me with Propafenone about 3 years ago, when I had a prolonged (16 hour) episode. I was given a megadose of the medication, and avoided electrical cardioversion. Since that time, every episode of Paroxysmal A. Fib, has successfully converted with a "rescue" dose of 600mg.

And, on the night before Christmas:

After Dinner

A Fib after dinner
On a family Christmas Eve,
Was not the present that I wished for
'Twas like a snake inside my sleeve.

A Fib after dinner
Fixed it with dessert,
Propafenone 600
And it didn't even hurt.

A Fib after dinner
Not something I condone,
Everybody took a walk
While I stayed home alone.

A Fib after dinner
Three times this year,
All the foods were different
Without wine, or even beer;

In fact, that familiar trigger
Doesn't seem to be the cause,
A Fib after dinner?
I place the blame on Santa Claus.

Fibril_late;
12/24/13
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Fibbing in Feb

Fibbing in February?
I hope it isn't me,
I have it down to a science
I only do it quarterly,
I'm not due till March
At least that is the plan,
Fibbing in February?
Not once, if I can.

Fibbing in February?
I don't think so, my friend,
I have a birthday
That I must attend,
And it wouldn't be right
To disrupt any parties,
You see, I only invite
All the hale and the hearty's.

Fibbing in February?
That must be you and not me,
Irregularity
Is not in my family tree,
We are stalwart and solid
Dependable and sure,
So, it's no Fib in February
Because we always endure.

Fibril_late;
12/25/13
_  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Let It Be You

February fibbing?
Oh, let it be you,
It's something that I
Would just rather not do,
Four times a year
On the quarterly plan,
Is, quite enough
For this A. Fibbing man.

December and March
June and September,
Is quite enough detail
For me to remember,
I just can't adjust
To more episodes; friend,
A Fib now and then
Is where it must end.

Fibril_late;
12/25/13

Volunteer

Everybody knows a volunteer (I hope). We hear about them, read about their service, but if you're not paying attention, they go unnoticed. In a hospital, they are indispensable; so much work is done by them and their only compensation is our thanks and perhaps an "Annual Volunteer Dinner". In our crazy department, we have had a few helpful volunteers over the two and a half years that I have been there. Quite often they are Nursing students, both male and female. They often appear shy and uncertain in the beginning, but I think we help them to feel welcome and appreciated, and when they leave, I know that everyone has benefitted from the arrangement. Currently, we have just one volunteer, and although my memory is like Swiss cheese, I think she's been coming almost every Friday night for a year or so. She exists in the land of post-college, and working on what's next. I can best define her value, with a poem:

Michelle

Michelle, Michelle
Yes, she's the one,
On Friday nights
She gets things done,
As a volunteer
She's beyond compare,
Without her help
We'd still be there.

Michelle brings goodness
Every Friday night,
When we're feeling beaten
She brings her light,
Her energetic
Enthusiasm,
Builds a shining bridge
Across the chasm.

Michelle, Michelle
Has lasted longer,
Than a league of volunteers
Because she's stronger,
She can stock IV trays
And prepare ten gurney's,
She's more valuable than
Edmundo's attorneys.

Michelle will do
Whatever we ask,
She's confident
No matter, what task,
And whatever it is
She does it well,
At the end of each week
We are saved by Michelle.

Michelle has earned
Our gratitude,
A bag of blessings
For her attitude,
Her willingness
To volunteer,
We hope and pray
She returns next year.

Fibril_late;
12/9/13

Myna Birds

Our hosses are like Myna birds……...repeating the same things day after day, without seeking workable and efficient solutions.

Sociology

There is sociological theory

A good King protects his minions,

Assembles an army

To fight opposing opinions,

Stands up as a warrior

And is a benevolent leader,

I guess it is obvious;

I’m a fiction-loving reader.

Our hosses complaints

Went something like this,

Don’t work so late

Or the budget will miss,

But, why did you refuse

That Recovery, yester-eve?

Joe Bob in the Cath Lab

Complained; now you’ll grieve.

No, our hosses don’t support us

We are attacked from within,

There is no rhyme to their reason

This is Corporate sin,

And this poison dribbles down

Through every crevice and crack;

I have a smile on my face

And a target on my back.

The psycho-babble of the 90’s

Would say, every family has it’s issues,

But where I work we wipe our tears

With pepper-spray tissues,

And no matter what they claim

About dignity, safety, and caring,

The inner workings of this machine

Are way beyond repairing.

Fibril_late;

11/23/13