Germy makes me squirmy

When travelling, the good advice is to drink bottled or boiled water. Also cooked meals, and for us Westerners, remember to carry TP and hand-cleaner, wherever you go.

TP Tourist   

The modern world tourist
Expects toilet paper,
Unlike the locals
Who use their hand as a scraper,
Thus, why we avoid
Handshakes at all,
We wai, with respect
Because your skin
Does surely crawl,
With 17 million
Pathogenic germs,
And probably some eggs
Of your favorite worms.

If you are travelling
Don’t drink the water,
Especially if skinny dipping
With the shopkeeper's daughter,
Consider the potential
Of life-threatening danger,
Instead buy bottled water
From a reliable stranger.

Do peel all the vegetables
The fruit and the goats,
Boil when cooking
Even your steel cut oats,
Served every morning
With slices of Mango,
Remember, don’t eat that skin
It’s not fun, like the Tango.

Just because it is spicy
Doesn’t mean it is safe,
Montezuma’s revenge
May cause serious chafe,
Wiping down yonder
For 24 hours,
Next time, avoid the water
Drink only, whiskey-sours.

Retirement Security

If you have read anything I have posted over the past 10 years, you know I find bureaucracy to be a total mind-melter. Well, proof of this, is how difficult it is, to actually arrange to stop working and begin receiving any kind of future benefits. I almost wish I was an illegal, and then I could get some hot looking young social conscious do-gooder to help me navigate this quagmire of nonsense.
But instead, I am just an over-educated, short tempered, sarcastic retiring Nurse...........

Unplanned

Social Security office
Makes retirement look hard,
It might look like an inch
But it's really a yard,
To jump through the hoops
Without blowing your top,
I thought working was tough
But it's harder to stop.

Folks there were seeking
Their first SS Card,
Others getting payments going
So they can sit in their yard,
Watching the world go by
As they allocate each nickel,
Wondering why they didn't save
'Cuz now, they're in a pickle.

Grandma Moses
Had a five year old, for show,
She talked to him like he was two
In baby-talk, you know,
Telling him something about school
Study hard, and get a job,
But did she even bring a book for him?
Not a chance; the lazy slob.

In fact, no one had a book
Not even me,
Although I read my journal abstracts
On Medscape, for free,
Thus I know a lot more stuff
About cardiac innovations,
A new pacemaker, for the neonate
For those rhythm aberrations.

Does it really seem
That I am ready to retire?
No, it doesn't feel that way
My mind is still on fire,
To learn the most I want
In the time I still command,
Life will show me what to do;
The guy that never planned.

Train to be Violent

By now, I expect that every healthcare organization all the way out to Timbuktu, has offered free, workplace-violence response training, to all and everyone. At our mega-medical entity, this endeavor seems way over the top intensive, no doubt costs millions, but looks good on paper for the public to read about. But what do I really think?

All the excitement:

What is the latest, hot button topic
For all the people in our nation?
Active-shooter situations
Expounded via oration,
And our own organization
Is spending gobs of money,
Learning to defend ourselves
When some jerk calls you "Honey",
While pointing a weapon
Or threatening you harm,
Got his arm around your neck
His favorite method of charm,
And a blade at your throat
While you gouge, scratch and bite,
Crush his instep with your heel
And kiss him goodnight.

At the Class:

We all learned the blade-stance
Where it looks like you're praying,
Shuffle forward and backward
Keep focused, no swaying,
Yell, scream; don't beg
While showing power, no fear,
Startle that mofo
Then bust a cap in his rear.

Another option:

Or........just arm us with guns
With a weapon I.D.
I can hide it in my scrub pants
A Glock 43,
I'm ready for whatever.........
Oh shit, now he sees us!
But, I'm not really worried
He's about to meet Jesus.

Warm Blanket

Planting a Seed

I changed my mind
Withdrew my prior writing,
I had a good run
No need to be indicting,
We work in a tough business
Life, death and worse,
No need to be remembered
As the disgruntled Nurse.

Work is damn stressful
Till we rise above it all,
Do what we do best
And answer the call,
To comfort those in pain
Some are worried and more,
It might be their own loved one
Or their own, gruesome score.

Expertise is important
So also, is a warm blanket,
Like that Model T Ford
Won't run unless you crank it,
And so does our care
Meet the want where it is needed,
Should we all work together
Our best results are exceeded.

Sure, there are times
When we protest for change,
It is difficult for a system
To work outside a range,
That has been predetermined
Not in a democratic way,
Inhibiting improvement
It won't happen in a day.

In the meantime we care
For those with greater need,
Helping brother and sister;
Is but planting a seed.