Nurse Centered Care

Patient-Centric Care. By golly, that sure does sound good, and I bet there are hundreds of papers and studies all wrapped around that feel-good concept. But let's talk reality! In the ICU and Recovery Room, we are talking Nurse-Centric Care. As in: The Nurse runs the show, knows what is best, and don't screw with us, if you want to see Joe Bob walking down the healing road to recovery.

Maybe that's how we old gunslingers see the world. We anachronisms of the old west, firing our pistols off, just to hear the big bang, and to smell the gunpowder. Who cares; I'm unplugging soon.
Just don't get it into your heads, that I'll stop writing about this, ok?

Not To Speak

After general anesthesia
Short term memory rules,
As you begin to wake up
You'll be missing some tools,
And may ask the same question
Over and over again,
We'll repeat the same answer
Like a stuttering hen.

In respect to the family
There are three things, not to speak,
Don't ask Jerry if he has pain
Or if he has to take a leak,
And most of all, never
Ask if he is nauseated,
His short term memory will cling
To the idea you perpetrated.

The Anesthesiologist
Gives meds for dizzy indigestion,
No one wants it to happen
Please don't give Jerry an auto-suggestion,
Because his brain will latch on
To that five letter word,
His circus memory will focus on VOMIT
He may start retching, undeterred.

Sure, I care about his history
Of his sensitive tummy,
You probably run to his side
Like the very best Mummy,
Each time he has a burp
And spits up a little rice,
But do be aware;
Encouraging vomit, is like rolling the dice.