Another stab at our digital medical record. Why? Because there are some screwy new terms, that seem like they originated in some foreign country. "Bedfast / Chairfast"...what in the heck does that mean??

Flatus Findings

I've already told the story
Of our new charting ways,
A preponderance of data
Absorbing our days,
Removing us from the bedside
Although our patient's need us more,
The boss of the bosses
Demands adherence to the chore.

There are new terms to contend with
That I don't understand,
Bedfast and chairfast
Initiated and planned,
And other strange items
That demand some rewinding,
Just what is the meaning
Of a Genital Finding.

Am I supposed to chart, "Yes"
I found the appropriate organ,
Or maybe, Miss Betty
Is endowed more like Morgan,
I can't seem to find the answer
And I'm embarassed to ask,
I didn't think that my charting
Would be a sexual task.

Perhaps I'm too old
For this digital charting,
Because, I also noticed
There's a query on farting,
A delicate subject
Regarding flatus of the gut,
In summary, I tell you
It's a pain in the butt.

Fibril_late;
9/17/09