You've probably seen those toilet seats that actually have two seats, right? Who came up with that idea? It always seemed kind of silly to me. Kind of like those booster seats at IHOP for the toddlers. I don't think you'll find those two-story lifters anywhere else, but in good old USA. So, two seats deserve two poems.

The Two Seated Concept

I've done my research
About this chair,
While sitting upon it
I noticed the air,
Was quite a bit fresher
At that elevation,
The two seated concept
Is some revelation.

I don't get the chance
To visit here much,
But I'll never forget
This toilet seat touch.

The Jacked Up Seat

I’ve wondered long
And pondered deep,
I’ve lost a lot
Of gash darned sleep,
Trying to solve
The mystery,
Of the jacked up seat
Where I must pee.

I’ve measured it
And found its weight,
The manufacturer
Place and date,
But it isn’t clearly
Understood,
Why a raised up toilet seat
Is good.

Fibril_late; 7/95