The ICU is full of all sorts of electronic monitors. The majority of them display their information with some sort of visual waveform or tracing that marches across the viewing screen. There are many reasons that might cause those waveforms to get crazy, such that unreliable information is displayed. Sometimes it's just a matter of interpretation. So many possibilities........

The Nature Of The Waves

Have you ever wondered
Why the waves get weird,
Falsely elevated, or
Completely disappeared,
Is it merely just a factor
Of a bent or busted tube,
Would it benefit your patient
To have a twenty minute lube.

Is it possibly apparent
That the readout might be true,
The skin is cold and clammy
And faintly colored blue,
Then the doctor wanders in
While muttering a curse,
Irate, that he's been bothered
By an "over-reactive Nurse".

Dr. Mouth has been engaged
But his mind is slipping gears,
The execution of his destiny
And fulfillment of her fears,
Will lead him to denounce
The writing on the wall,
He won't accept the blame
That he made a lousy call.

The outcome isn't always
The disaster that I render,
At times the IV tubing
Is like a salad in a blender,
When your dazed and crazy patient
Is chewing on the plastic,
The readings are erroneous
The waves have all gone spastic.

Whatever is the reason
The quandary or quirk,
If the situation's critical
You might wish you were a clerk,
Just cruising in a day job
As someone's minor slave,
Untroubled by complexities
Of the nature of the wave.

Fibril_late; 6/93