What greater example of genius can be found, than a group of nurses brainstorming ideas, to solve an apparently insurmountable situation. No names mentioned, but factually true; and I remember who my comrades were, what room the patient was in, which hospital............my poems are memory keepers.
Ring Around The Collar
She attacked my
poor olfactory nerves
When I checked
beneath the covers,
She had colonized
a host of creatures
Left by thirty
lovers,
In the dark, warm,
damp environment
Those bacteria and
yeasts
Synergized and
incubated
Awesome, unknown
beasts.
The Epidemiologist
Was unsure, what
to do,
He ordered
standard culture sets
On the exudative
goo,
And quite frankly,
like the rest of us
He was grossed out
to the max,
So he didn't even
notice
When the slime
jumped on his slacks.
A fomite under
power
This sad fellow
was a dupe,
He should have
tossed his clothes right then
Inside the linen
hoop,
Instead he took
that colony
On rounds with
him, that day,
Contaminating
everything
In an epidemic
way.
Within the
fortress of the unit
The nurses
launched their fight,
They wrote a
mighty care-plan
It was an awe
inspiring sight,
The list of
interventions
Would win a Nobel
prize,
As sure as fresh
made cow chips
Will attract three
dozen flies.
But none the less,
they knew the tricks
To eradicate this
beast,
They called the
local chaplaincy
To get a Catholic
priest,
We need an
exorcism
Before we gather
by that bed,
Please come and do
your demon dance
Or I'm sure we'll
be dead.
The Catholic guy,
said, my, oh my
Of course, I'll
help those nurses,
I'll get a chance
to practice
All of my
anti-demon curses,
Because it isn't
very often
Within the
confines of my role,
That I have the
opportunity
To really save a
soul.
With the exorcism
finished
Their job took on
some meaning,
It was just
another nasty site
Of excretory
cleaning,
Engarbed in
isolation robes
They were covered
head to toe,
And if you turned
the lights down
You would see
those nurses glow.
Together they
approached
Their formation,
it was tight,
They stripped back
all the bedclothes
And assaulted her
with light,
They attacked with
four point suction
To vacuum up the
slime,
While taking notes
in narrative
About the scenery
of the crime.
In the background
several nurses
Were at work in
preparation,
To concoct some
deadly mixture
For slime
eradication,
And they finally
reached consensus
About exactly what
to do,
They would mix a
triple portion
Of the hospital
coffee brew.
It was well known
information
That the stuff was
nearly toxic,
It could
revitalize a Resident
Who by appearance,
seemed anoxic,
And the triple
dose delivery
Would cause
culture overdrive,
This seeping,
weeping monster
Would no longer be
alive.
The smell was
overpowering
When they sprayed
the caffeine flux,
It didn't touch
the linen
Because they
padded her with Chux,
And when the
treatment was successful
You could hear
those nurses holler,
I wonder if this
stuff will work
On ring around the
collar.
1994
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