Vitamin Scarapy

Sometimes when the patient talks, I just stand there and wonder what the heck have they been smoking? Astounding stories of non-compliance, and the predictable outcomes, that prove a total lack of common sense.


I chose the vitamin cure
For my viral cardiomyopathy,
According to Betty Lou
Guaranteed by some expert of psychopathy.

See, those pills and potions
Prescribed by the Cardiologist back then,
Made me feel so lousy
I stopped taking them when,
I heard about the vitamins
Promoted by Chiropractor Jerry,
Plus, I read about it on the internet
Carnitine, and dust from a fairy.

Sure enough, I got better
My ejection fraction came up to fifty,
I rolled along on my merry way
Never saw another doctor, Tom Swifty,
Until just last week
I became short of breath,
Tried Flonase for a week
Until I began to feel like death,
Finally went to the hospital
Emergency room,
Ejection fraction 30 percent
3+  to 4+ Mitral Regurge
Vitamin therapy, badda-boom!

At age 64
She did luck out,
Normal coronary arteries,
That's worth a shout,
While husband/daddy/child
Sitting at the bedside with the Yorky dog,
Seemed to be in support of all this nonsense
Like a frog on a log.

She said, she likes the Cardiologist
(as long she approves what he's doing),
I wonder if he knows about the vitamins
And whatever she's smoking and chewing,
Because, I wouldn't cover any bets
On her likelihood, of compliance,
After all, she made up her own mind
In stubborn anti-medical defiance.

I asked about her career
She claimed she was a Nutritional Coach,
Good heavens, I wonder what she has been teaching?
Not likely, the scientific approach,
Yep, those vitamins for Cardiomyopathy
Read about them on WebMed dot tv,
Where you can trust a Hollywood star
To say what's best for you and me.