The Gift of Giving

Be a bedside nurse long enough, and you too, will experience the gift of giving. That special patient who loves to share some precious body fluids with anyone dumb enough to come into close proximity. Be warned and be ready, kids.

I saved my BM
Just for you,
I bestow such gifts
Where gifts are due,
Because you are such
A kind caregiver,
I included a chunk
Of my dead liver.

I saved some vomit
For my best nurse,
A sweet memento
She can carry in her purse,
And as a bonus
An awesome booger,
On the lunch tray
With a packet of sugar.

I'm holding some sputum
For Dr. Astute,
When he gets near
I'll spray it on his suit,
His ten thousand dollar
Jacket from Brooks,
Just to see his precious
Hateful looks.

Yep, I am a gifter
I do it, because I care,
If you'll come a little closer
I'd love to touch your hair,
Just after I've scratched
That pustule on my arm,
A special gift for you
It's just part of my charm.