Sis Boom Bah

The repercussions
Of a cardiac arrest,
It gives you an opportunity
To challenge the last test,
In the course of your life
To discover who you are,
Did you study enough
To at least make par?

Statistics aren't great
For immediate survival,
Not many folks
Make a hospital arrival,
About 11 percent
Live on, for more action,
But only 8 percent can claim
No brain subtraction.

Sudden Cardiac Arrest
In two thousand eleven,
More than 400 thousand
Trying to go to heaven,
That 11 percent survival rate
Is nothing to whistle about,
Unless your objective was
To become a bean sprout.

How to improve on
Your risk of demise?
Have a Defibrillator near
For the big surprise,
Strap one to your back
Or just vote them into use,
You might need one in the future
When you're playing caboose.

With a shockable rhythm
At your witnessed arrest,
Those are two of the ingredients
For passing the test,
Where the helpful Good Samaritan
Grabs the A-E-D,
Follows the idiot-proof instructions
Thinking, "I'm glad it's not me".

Now your chances of survival
Increased 300 percent,
That's nothing to sneeze at
For living intent,
Where the balance of the crowd
Will continue on to heaven,
Looking for George Carlin
At the Seven Eleven.

A-E-D
Like la-dee-da,
Increases opportunity
For sis-boom-bah,
Though occasionally not
For the moron's in the crowd,
The Methamphetamine user
No longer endowed,
With a functional brain
In his meth-adjusted head,
One more drug user
Dead on the bed.

All in all
It is best to avoid,
Because cardiac arrest
Will make you unemployed,
Your wife and kids won't like that
'Cuz even if you survive,
Everyone will wonder
How long you'll stay alive,
And consider the option called
Neurological dysfunction,
It leaves you sitting on the couch
Watching Petticoat Junction.

Cardiac Arrest
Is a life changing event,
If you don't fly off to heaven
Say your prayers and repent.