Yearly Review

We are employees, we are evaluated. In our business it happens yearly, around our date of hire. We participate in "Skills Day", get our annual "TB Test" and go on our merry way.  But, there is always something our "bosses" will focus on..............its their duty.

Yearly Review

An exhaustive review

At my annual Eval,

When my boss examines closely

My employment, pal,

They've been keeping tabs on me

Stored carefully in my file,

The balance beam of Authority

At odds, with my peculiar style.

I won't do phone calls

Stupid Satisfaction Survey,

I don't like Surgical pre-ops

Not within my purvey,

But I do play Flex-Nurse

And temporary Charge,

That's what I'm banking on

My presence, at large.

I keep tabs on the workload

I will know all of the client's,

Histories and procedures

And every known appliance,

I'll know where they came from

And exactly how they'll bleed,

Should a crisis arise

I'm the one that you'll need.

You want to fit me

Into the mold of your dream,

Adjust your preconceptions

Before you let off some steam,

Because my dutiful rescues

Will save you, unexpected,

Just when you thought, "all is lost"

When I'm there, you're protected.

I won't bitch about breaks

I don't really care,

I need a snack on the 4 hours

Patients are needy, I am there,

That's why I work

My 12 hours and more,

It is not about me

This is a client driven store.

Sure, I need to stop

And have a bite to eat,

Everyone needs that kind of thing

But, that's not my beat,

I won't fill out forms

That claim, I didn't rest,

There are people here who need us

And they expect the best.

When I'm on that day

There will be a sense of security,

No matter how nasty it gets

I bring a sense of purity,

That will cut through the bullshit

And get the best things done,

A few of us can offer that

We are the ones.

So, it's my annual review

Boss, I know you have to say your piece,

Currently, you can't live without me

Though, I'm not your favorite niece,

You don't need to offer me Disneyland

No, you need to say, "Dude",

Without you, we would completely

Become totally unglued.

Fibril_late;

2/25/14

Dark Warrior

An expert, incredible nurse in our community, died unexpectedly this past week. I had crossed paths with him on numerous occasions, and trusted his experience and critical judgements. We are at a loss, with his passing.

Those who knew him: I think all would agree he was a true warrior of Nursing.

Dark Warrior

Rumors were posed that

My writings were darkly depressed,

Secret police checking

Exactly how I was dressed,

Combing through my garbage

For clues of a mental break,

A conspiracy of words

I think someone's on the take.

Sure, I've been writing

Like a crazy man, possessed,

Doing the work that we do

Why, every day is a test,

Twelve hours of calamity

Of the good, the bad and more,

Sure enough, it is often rewarding

But other times, it’s a Lion's roar.

Don't get your hopes up folks

I'm not throwing in the towel,

Too many denizens of the deep

Are still out there, on the prowl,

We warriors of the Underside

Are necessary, to protect the needy,

And quite frankly, you gotta admit

I deliver the goods, and I'm speedy.

Fibril_late;
2/17/14
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  

Unpredictable

Friends and colleagues, who
Died earlier than expected,
I had a silly notion, that
Since I knew them, they were protected,
Not by virtue of my mojo
No, I just thought they were invincible,
But the unpredictability of fate
Appears to be the driving principle.

2/18

ACLS

For the oldtimers, we remember that going for ACLS certification, was a stressful event for many practitioners. Instructors used to run demanding mock-codes, where each person played a particular role (and do it right!) and heck, we even practiced endo-tracheal tube placement. I found it challenging and enjoyable, but a lot of people were having PTSD over the whole thing.

Not so anymore; it’s like Nursery school now. No muss, no fuss, no stress………...and half of the students (from all walks of health-care), are still freaked out about basic EKG rhythm. Essentially, most participants, want to be as far away from a Code Blue, as they can.

Are we any better off having namby-pamby ACLS? Are survival rates any better in-hospital? I think we’re doing better, only because Rapid-Response teams have been put in place. If we intervene early, we save people. But if Joe-Bob has a Cardiac or Respiratory arrest, in an abrupt or sneaky fashion, his chance of leaving the hospital alive, still remains iffy.

ACLS

My capnography is rising

Yawn frequency accelerated,

The Instructor’s jokes are pretty lame

And frankly, outdated,

But I really can't complain

This class is always easy,

And a bit humorous to watch

How much the newbies are queasy.

I find it hard to understand

Their trepidation, regarding EKG,

After all, this is ACLS

Cardiac knowledge, so ABC,

But over the years

They've made it simple

Nervous anxiety, a thing of the past,

Silly me, I want a Nurse who knows

How to define rhythm's really fast.

Fibril_late;

2/17/14

Repair Shop

Yester-eve, we did manage to depart with 1.25 Hr overtime, but the truth is, nothing exciting or life-threatening occurred. The last patient shipped out at 2315, and then we were left with late, catch-up charting, office duties and some tidying up. It had been a very busy day, nonetheless. My partner and I were running on fumes at the end, getting goofy and finally stumbled out at 0015. Our Charge Nurse will ask us about that next week........that's a guarantee.

Nothing terribly exciting to report

It's life as usual

Down at the Suck and Snort,

The regulars remain

And entertain themselves,

Some have stayed so long

They belong on the shelves.

Imagine working

At only one job,

Frankly, I can't

I would feel like a blob,

Of secure confined knowledge

Sheltered in place,

Afraid to step outside of

My comfortable base.

We're a mixed up bunch

From all manner of beginnings,

Some days we're losing

And others we're winning,

In an unpredictable business

This repair shop for humanity,

Surely, you can understand why;

We're on the brink of insanity.

The owner is a typical

Miserly cheapskate,

Paying his workers

The lowest damn rate,

Cutting corners on service

Supplies and whatever,

All the while advertising

We are the best and most clever.

Yes, it was a standard good day

And now I'm kicking off my shoe,

The bartender has delivered

It's time to quaff a good brew.

Fibril_late;

2/14/14

Clamor in the Slammer

Arguments, disagreements, reprimands…………..should take place behind closed doors. And never, not ever, should these disturbances be played out in front of the customer / client / patient. It makes the so called “professional”, look like an out of control idiot. Because they are!

Clamor in the Slammer

A lot can be said
More can be thought,
How much is worth repeating?
Wasted words are nought.

Excessive arguing
The same point over and over,
Makes me want to run and jump
In sweet smelling clover,
Pull it up over my shoulders
Protection from discordant clamor,
Folks like that?
I'd like to throw them in the slammer.

And for Godz sake
Do it in the garage, not at work,
If I had a fire hose
I might go berserk,
Like those police tactic
Crowd control measures,
Silence is golden
The greatest of treasures.

A lot can be said
But usually, it's way too much,
And as a Management tool
Those folks are out of touch.

Fibril_late;
2/11/14

Memory Dump

Another sad tale of too much to do..............

Memory Crash

A strange thing happened

Late Friday night,

My brain shut down

Overloaded, to such a height,

Too many darn patients

Taken care of, too fast,

After 13 long hours

I had a memory blast.

Fifteen after midnight

My memory was good,

At twenty after midnight

It was an old piece of wood,

I couldn't remember

Any passwords, they failed me,

I couldn't chart the last four hours

Heck, someone shoulda jailed me,

But there was no dereliction

My physical labors were complete,

Just my memories were dumped

As if my brain were concrete.

No point in staying

We punched out, at One,

After fourteen long hours

We couldn't find any fun,

Despite earning double-time

It wasn't worth it, I declare,

And thank the Devil, it was Friday

'Cause tomorrow, we're not there.

Fibril_late;

2/3/14