Take our new Auto-flushing toilets with their light-sensor switch. I don't know if it is infrared or just a motion activator, but newsflash, they aren't very reliable. In my careful observations, I'm betting on 50% success. Sometimes they flush, during the deposit, but not afterwards. Or, no flush at all. There is no fall-back handle, just a black, rubbery thing, that looks like a button. But, it isn't labelled, so one has to use a little intuition, to figure it out. I'm thinking of asking the public folks (when I do a "Discharge Phone Call) not only if the Nurses were sweet and friendly, did you get all the education you needed, and, by the way, when you used the bathroom in the hallway, was the toilet bowl flushed and clean when you got there. Odds are, they were too embarrassed to mention, that our public bathrooms often look like a post-apocalypse bathroom in Kathmandu. Quite frankly, that's what I would remember, when I got home. (of course, I'd remember the sexy Nurses too, after all I'm sorta normal).
And the term, "Discharge Phone Call", takes on a whole new meaning!
Auto-Flush
The
automatic
Flushing
toilet,
You
don't even
Have
to oil it,
Greased
before
It
was put together,
It
operates
In
any weather.
Sit
right down
Or
lift the lid,
Do
your business
Like
they did,
The
Engineers
Who
took a fling,
Designing
this auto-
Flushing
thing.
Does
it work
After
every expulsion?
Or
do future users
Face
revulsion,
When
they discover
Prior
remains,
After
Billy-Bob
Crapped
out his brains.
That's
the dilemma
When
adopting new tech,
If
you believe the hype
From
the Salesman, oh, heck,
He
was a nice young fellow
Honest
and sincere,
With
the always-flushing toilet
The
hottest thing this year.
These
devices never work
As
advertised,
Seven
times a day
Someone
is surprised,
With
left-over remnants
From
the last user,
Another
irate customer
Acting
as accuser,
Looking
for the perp
Who
left his smelly poop,
While
the purchaser is to blame
But
they're out of the loop.
We
nearby nurses
Can't
ignore,
So
we call Housekeeping
That's
their chore,
To
clean up toxic
Spills
and such,
Though
I am betting
They
don't like it much.
I
suspect
The
Hospital Buyer,
Wasn't
a thousand
Flusher-trier,
To
check if this device
Would
really function,
And
now we have crap
That
needs extreme unction.
Luckily,
Sister Euphemia
Hasn't
lost her skills,
She
knows everything
About
flushing pills,
And
wadded napkins
Always
sanitary,
Though
sometimes what's left
In
the bowl is really scary.
She
says a prayer
And
calls, “Oh, Father,
Could
you come to
4-East,
if it's not a bother,
Because
we need an Exorcist
To
straighten out this mess”,
Sister
Euphemia snickers
Knowing
she might have to confess,
That
she's overwhelmed
With
this toilet disaster,
And
she's merely dumping it
On
the local Headmaster.
Didn't
these new toilet flushers
Arrive
with the latest C-E-O?
Is
there some correlation
Underneath
it all, that might show,
Where
this organization is heading
Down
the tubes, and such,
There's
no way to say for sure
But
we don't like it too much.
Fibril_late;
7/8/13
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