Last Night

Here's what happened on the last night of work, over at the previous job.

My patient had undergone a VAT (video assisted thoracotomy), and had previously been using Oxycontin frequently at home. Post-op she had a Q-pump with a local anesthetic infusing into the rib area, she was on a basal-rate Dilaudid PCA, and popping an Oxycontin every four hours.

Apparently she was on Klonopin for an anxiety disorder; and quite obviously, this woman was on a lot of drugs at home. So I'm thinking, that when I told her she was getting her Klonopin, but really it was a Pepcid, the placebo effect was fully operational. She went right to sleep; later telling her daughter that the Klonopin really helped. Go figure!

Last Night

My last night at work
Was kind of funny,
But I'll wait a year
Before I tell you, sonny,
About the little mistake
I made with one med,
It caused no harm
And no one is dead.

In fact, I might have actually
Saved a life,
Someone's mother
Someone's wife,
When I administered Pepcid
And not Klonopin,
Was anyone hurt
By this omission, this sin?

In retrospect,
I think it was better
II didn't follow the med-profile
Exactly to the letter,
What with frequent Oxycontin
And the Q-pump for pain,
That Klonopin might have
Gone straight to her brain.

Respiratory depression
When that breathing stops,
The rhythms get whacky
And everybody hops,
To the tune of the wild rabbit
Can you think of a better name?
If she ends up on the ventilator
Tongues will wag and fingers blame.

So a Klonopin omitted
I have no sense of guilt,
She got a Pepcid swap instead
And her comfy, hand-made quilt.

8/26/11