On The Bottom

Over many years, I've seen a metamorphosis and evolution of skin dressings, protective barriers, wound packing’s, etc. These are used to either promote healing, protect skin, and now days, prevent the formation of bedsores. Sure, those breakdowns have some fancy name like HAPU, but it's the same old story, as usual. Ya gotta see the humor; one of our computer charting Plan of Care selections reads, “At Risk For Skin Integrity”. I'm not kidding. How about that for a typo? Whoa there, I better be careful, my patient might develop integrity of his skin; I better leave him on the bedpan for a few hours.

The latest new product we are using is a dressing for the sacrum, to be used on all patients who are on a ventilator, and any one else who might get a HAPU. Last night one of the patients had his Mepilex dressing changed four times, because he had a CRAPU! By golly, we really got to the bottom of that problem, right away.

On The Bottom

Mepilex, oh Mepilex
Advertised as
“Butt Protects”,
Use it on
Your infant too,
A cover-up
For baby poo.

Mepilex, oh Mepilex
For the kitchen floor
And redwood decks,
Water proof
And rot resistant,
Placed properly
With one assistant.

Mepilex, oh Mepilex
We employ it often
Like a hex,
To ward off bedsores
On the bottom,
We don't care
If you already got'em.

Mepilex, oh Mepilex
For on-line dating
And couples connects,
Way better
Than those churchy meetings,
Though I don't know
About Twitter tweetings.

Mepilex, oh Mepilex
There are special versions
For rated, “X”,
Check our website
Adults section,
Then left-click right
For that selection.

Mepilex, oh Mepilex
The best protection
For having sex,
Self adhesive
And hydrophylic,
Try it out
'Tis life idyllic.

Fibril_late;
7/12/11