I'm finally getting acquainted with my COW (computer on wheels) at work. You see, although California is always considered to be on the cutting edge of many things, when it comes to advances in hospital operations, we seem to be dead last. And what gives? Here we are, in the capitol city of one of the worlds most robust economies, and we seem to be the final market in the developed world to get turned on to computer charting!

Anyway, it is providing me with a lot of fodder to munch on, as I morph into a "super-user".


W.O.W. ~ Wookiee-on-Wheels

Refresh, right-click
Read your screen,
Then you'll know
Where you have been.

Set your range
That's date and time,
Then your data flow
Will be sublime.

Change the dose
And not the rate,
If you screw up here
You'll rue your fate,
And never ever
Select Infuse,
Or your I's and O's
Are sure to confuse.

When you make a choice
You must verify,
Don't "refresh" first
Or you will cry,
Because your precious order
Won't be there,
You'll have to start all over;
The computer won't care.

The tubes and drains
And the VADS don't flow,
To the Iview
Where you'd like them to go,
Instead
They only populate,
The Quickview/kardex
Now, ain't that great?
But the Quickview is only
Good for a glance,
You can't change nothin'
Not a chance,
No, your only option
Is to double-chart;
So like a computer-
Not really smart.

All-in-all
This program is whacked,
I can hardly wait
For the day that it's hacked,
And then I can add
My own little bots,
To auto-fill the info
Into the document slots.

Fibril_late; 9/18/08
_________________________________
Cerner Learner

Perhaps you've heard, that I'm a Cerner learner
Gathering all the nuances of the system,
The program is really quite complicated
So, don't even ask me to list'em,
I've been encouraged to explore and discover
In the process I'll sharpen my skills,
I guess the idea, is when the system goes live
I'll be on top of my tasks and my pills.

Now some of us computer users
Can't help it, but we're pushing the envelope,
Exploring all the nooks and the crannies
Going, way out on the rope,
Focusing upon in-depth research
For all of the shortcuts and such,
To find any weakness in the system
And the things we're advised not to touch.

I won't claim that I'm a hacker at all
I'm just curious, and you know that old story,
There was a cat who was poking around
And he followed his nose to his glory,
So, please don't be talking this up
I know Cerner is just a tool to apply,
My goal is to find all the shortcuts
My mission? Well at least, let me try.

Fibril_late;
9/18/08
____________________________________

Click Times Three

Left click, right click
Rah, Rah, Ree,
Point your mouse
And click times three,
Open a window
Drop down a menu,
Choose a band
With a whole new venue.

Right click, left click
Rah, Rah, Ras,
Too many details
In this class,
Logoff or exit
Suspend or close,
Where your data disappears
Nobody knows.

Fibril_late; 9/18/08