Another look at a weighty subject.

Heavy World

I'm getting really worried

About the weight of the world today,

Over the years more people

Are getting bigger and bigger, they say,

Thanks to TiVo and VCR's

Computers and the video game,

Out the window flew exercise

And good eating habits

Extra-large is the name of the game.

Proof can be seen amidst our monster SUV's

Big Boy recliners and giant BVD's,

Double-wide airline seats for Billy-Bob the gamer

Don't block his refrigerator, unless you're

A lion tamer.

All aspects of life, all venues of business

Have expanded their capacity, and it's causing me dizziness,

Being larger than life, has it's drawbacks I say

Our kids are so large, they can no longer play,

Or safely fit on equipment

In the parks of our nation,

Instead, all those pikers

Are hooked on Playstation.

I don't blame the manufacturers

Of those fantastic devices,

Though I could argue for an hour

About their ridiculous prices,

With company research associates

Targeting Mom's and Dad's dollars,

It's no wonder we're a country

A fall-behind scholars.

I am really very troubled

About the girth upon our earth,

Strangely, it's never present

At the entrance of your birth,

It's an acquired syndrome

For the majority of cultures,

Forsaking the native diet

To become processed food mulchers.

It's a new world culture

And a new language-largess,

Poly-syllable designations

That are sure to impress,

Best known as bariatrics

The science of losing weight,

From 16,000 procedures in 1992

To 180 thousand, in 2008.

It's a heckuva way, for a Doctor career

Maximizing reductions, you might say,

Treating multi-causational body mass excess

With a snip of the scissors

A slice of the knife

And like magic, the problem goes away;

Now you might consider me flippant

Careless, without sympathy or hope,

But when BMI expands beyond 35

Puny nurses like me, can barely cope.

Naturally you might think I am whining

But I expect my employer to care,

They promise us bariatric equipment

Hefty lifts, mondo-beds and chairs,

Until the hellstorm of a foreshortened budget

Breaks the surface from the darkened depths of Hell,

Then they tell us, just do the best that you can

“Have some cupcakes, you're all doing swell”.

Well, I know that's awfully homey

It makes me feel so cuddly inside,

The weight of the world, has been lifted from my shoulders

I'm in heaven, so I finally must have died,

Until I suddenly awaken with a jerk

With my head on the desk, and I've been drooling,

There's a 600 pound patient on a thirty year old gurney

And I realize, my bosses weren't fooling.

Fibril_late;

8/19/08