Five more Shifts

Almost there; that thing called retirement. Of course many folks are pretty sure they might be able to entice me back sometime in the future, and I don't discount that, because I have done my best to stay at the forefront of certain areas of interest. That learning switch is not being flipped off.

However, the most recent Friday, two days ago, the wall hit me........even if I wasn't retiring, it would be time for me to bail out again. Over the course of the past 11 years, I have flipped back and forth between two hospitals in the system, where I worked for A and then B, and then A and then B.
So, that's how it is; I jump ship when I can.................and I'm about to do that, after 5 more shifts.

Terminal Burnout

That was not enjoyable

I'm telling you,

Running around like crazy chickens

With too much to do,

And I came to the understanding

That I have finally breached,

Terminal burned-out status

The pinnacle I have reached.

I despise all alarms

And the computerized medical chart,

The former, because it's often so pointless

The latter, because it's not a la carte,

Some kind of crazy committee

Offsite in the middle of Texas,

Declares you must chart this one way

As convoluted as the mesenteric plexus.

Pharmacy calls me four times

Asking; what is the allergy of Betty,

Quite frankly I don't have a clue

She is snoozing and looks kind of sweaty,

Her daughter just left for tobacco

The son is on YouTube in the lobby,

And I don't have one frickin' minute

It's not like I'm engaged in a hobby.

I'm the Charge Nurse with 5 patient's

On a 12 hour shift,

So many people ask for me

It's worse than the Tokyo drift,

And I do incredibly appreciate

How we work as a team and all,

But even working five more shifts?

I'm like a plane, gone into a stall.

Even five more days might be impossible

I might explode if pushed the wrong way,

One more migraine headache that needs Percocet

A forty-one year old gal, Sallie Mae,

Who can't lay supine just another four hours

After all babe, you might just bleed out,

If she keeps hopping around on that gurney

With her ten out of ten fussy pout.

Come on chick, you managed two babies

It had to be worse than an Ablation,

“Only Percocet works for me, Bub”

With an attitude, Oh consternation!

And meanwhile the Pharmacy pages me

Asking that allergy question,

Finally, I'm about to explode

With terminal indigestion.

And really, it wasn't enjoyable

Though we did have a lot of good laughs,

That's what nurses do in a typical crisis

Beat with bats and old rusty gaffs,

We gather around the dead campfire

Bemoaning our plight and our pay,

Knowing we'll sleep it all off

To be tortured another bright day.

12-15-18