Germy makes me squirmy

When travelling, the good advice is to drink bottled or boiled water. Also cooked meals, and for us Westerners, remember to carry TP and hand-cleaner, wherever you go.

TP Tourist   

The modern world tourist
Expects toilet paper,
Unlike the locals
Who use their hand as a scraper,
Thus, why we avoid
Handshakes at all,
We wai, with respect
Because your skin
Does surely crawl,
With 17 million
Pathogenic germs,
And probably some eggs
Of your favorite worms.

If you are travelling
Don’t drink the water,
Especially if skinny dipping
With the shopkeeper's daughter,
Consider the potential
Of life-threatening danger,
Instead buy bottled water
From a reliable stranger.

Do peel all the vegetables
The fruit and the goats,
Boil when cooking
Even your steel cut oats,
Served every morning
With slices of Mango,
Remember, don’t eat that skin
It’s not fun, like the Tango.

Just because it is spicy
Doesn’t mean it is safe,
Montezuma’s revenge
May cause serious chafe,
Wiping down yonder
For 24 hours,
Next time, avoid the water
Drink only, whiskey-sours.