Pain from the RASS

I am a little late writing about this, as it has been in use for a few years now. But thanks to somebody, I have now given it my attention.

Here is another Audit-glory Tool; allow me to present to you the:

Richmond Agitation-Sedation Scale.
Never, in any Nurse-to-Nurse report did Betty Lou say to me, Billybob has a RASS of minus two, positive. Instead what they probably reported; Billybob is totally whacked out, slugging and spitting at his caregivers between bouts of profound somnolence. And incidentally, I told the Doctor the same thing. So why is there a RASS? To audit us, of course, you fool! It probably fits in somewhere, on that down-home favorite, the APACHE score.

RASS

Remember
Acquire
Stupid
Stuff,
As if we didn’t
Have to do enough.

Always remember
To do that RASS, mutt,
Or some invisible Auditor
Will kick your butt.

At first there was AIDET
And then there was NO PASS,
Ask any honest nurse
They’re all a pain in the ass,
And don’t forget that Apache Score
One more shackle
To grapple with on your shift,
I doubt the CEO must do it
Do you get my drift?

Is Management forced
To use precious time,
To pull up Apache
And make everything rhyme,
A non-productive part
Amidst every day duty?
Makes me feel like calling
Death Cab For Cutie.