Thursday, July 11, 2013

Big as a Barge

Three hundred eighty pounds fella, with new-onset Atrial Fib. Unsure how long he's had it, as his Left-atrium is enlarged, and his ejection fraction is only 40%. He thought the arrhythmia was due to stress at work..........a salesman / broker for multiple Nurseries. He did admit, that he and his wife, do love to eat (she's 200 pounds plus, herself). He was shocked (cardioverted) twice, and got back into Sinus Rhythm. He'll take some meds for a few months and see if he stays in rhythm. I'm betting he doesn't diet, but I'm the perpetual cynic, aren't I?

Big as a Barge

A BMI of forty-eight
Admit it now, that's too much weight,
To carry around on your skeletal frame
Regardless if you're a guy or a dame.

It's really such a case of denial
A thousand excuses in your personal file,
Categorically, ignoring the fact
You are obese, don't call it an act.

It's bad for your family
When you're as big as a barge,
If your kids eat like you
They too, will get large,
Adult-onset Diabetes?
There's a childhood rendition,
Thanks Mom and Dad
For promoting this condition.

Your sleep is disturbed
Because you snore all night long,
Fat throat, heavy tongue
Makes the apnea song,
Like a snorting Bull Moose
With his mating call of Spring,
A slew of comorbidities
Is the song you will sing.

Insulin resistance
And Atrial Fib,
Yeast infection colonies
Where you once had a rib,
At the seventeenth fat roll
Down south near your gut,
And you can't even speculate
What happened to your butt.

From the front, you're a bulldozer
From the back, a Mack Truck,
At a distance you're a blimp
And in the doorway you're stuck,
But once you were a baby
No more than 12 pounds,
Now you're three times my size
Which is out way of bounds.

So, today we shocked your heart
From A. Fib to Sinus,
But I guarantee it won't stick
Until your weight becomes a minus,
And your cardiomyopathy
Will only worsen, unless you change,
Curtail your gluttonous eating
Or drop dead on the driving range.


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