Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Pension Apprehension


As the stock market has gone up and down for the last 80 years in a somewhat predictable cycle, countless folks get wigged out regarding their retirement funds. Who knows whatever crystal ball they are consulting over at Hugs Marijuana Dispensary on Stockton Blvd; it just won't do anything to relieve their apprehension.

She has apprehension
Regarding her pension,
Every day she's checking
With excessive attention,
Did my stocks go up
Did the NASDAQ go down,
Point spreads and derivatives
Should I smile or frown?

Her apprehension
Is causing hypertension,
But she skips her pills
And, I forgot to mention,
That she loves salt
Fried food and cake,
A stroke is scheduled tomorrow
Just before she comes awake.

Too bad, Betty
You didn't pay attention,
You'll never enjoy a penny
From your well deserved pension,
Because, Bobby your hubby
Has a girlfriend on the side,
And as your beneficiary
He'll be happy you died.

1 comment:

Old Fool said...

This business of amassing assets for "retirement" is a new phenomenon. Old nurses like myself were smart enough to realize people always run out of health before they run out of money. If people worried about their health as much as money, they would extend human life expectancy by decades.