Thursday, August 27, 2015

Happy Whack Job

I think I had 7 patients today. It only took one to make me go postal........too bad three of them were either confrontational, argumentative and angry, and the family chipped in. Here's the winner:

Happy Whack Job

A 12 hour routine
Day in and day out,
What could be so different
To make me scream or shout?,
The particular kind of patient
Confrontational and demanding,
Where reason and logic
Have no place of understanding.

Consider this Billy Bob
3 days in our palace,
Drove himself to the hospital
With nine K dollars in his valise,
Don’t ask me why
I’d never believe it,
But in the midst of his Recovery,
He says he has to go retrieve it.

I’m telling him, “No
I will just call the Nurse,
Up on floor three
And he begins to curse,
Never telling me why
He said, “Only I can do it”
He’s getting whacky and crazy
So I said, “just screw it”;
Go ahead, go upstairs
Let me show you the elevator,
He marches off
Like one hot potater,
With his spouse at his side
And a bounce in his step,
He returned pretty soon
With his own nursing rep,
She took me aside
And told me about the money,
About 9 thousand dollars
That’s why he's acting so funny,
He wouldn’t put it in the safe
No, we had to lock it in the Med-room,
And now he’s holding his black valise
At his side in his bedroom,
Along with his Mac computer
And his jaunty baseball cap,
This 73 year old whack job
Is one happy chap.


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