Thursday, February 19, 2015

Repeated, again

With Cardiac Arrhythmia's, an individual might have to return for repeat procedures; such as Cardioversion, Ablation, Pacemaker fiddling, Angiograms and so on. It's just the nature of the beast.

Mr. McGinnis
Came back to our store,
He had a prior Ablation
And now he wants more,
Oh, let's do-do it again
He said with a stutter,
But this time I've come
With Atrial Flutter.

Mr. McGinnis
Is a likeable chap,
Friendly, yet stoic
He wears a jaunty cap,
Adventurous, he is
Regarding recreation,
He says, "I've had a month of rest"
Let's do another ablation.

Dr. Oneill
Reviews all the options,
Clarifying clearly
He doesn't do adoptions,
Nor suffer fools gladly
Seeking medical attentions,
"But, if the proof is in the pudding
I will apply my interventions".

Dr. Oneill, in his customary way
Articulates, with nary a stutter,
The EKG, clearly shows evidence
Of Cavo-tricuspid A-Flutter,
Quite simple to fix, in my estimation
Drop in for a day, get it done,
Mr. McGinnis, heartily replies
"Thanks Doc, I'm sure we'll have fun".


Monday, February 16, 2015

Catering to you

We all have had difficult patients, families, co-workers and bad days. Over the course of this job, I have worked in situations, where a patient might come for multiple visits, over weeks, months or years. I understand all the psychodynamics of how the person might feel lost, or have a sense of powerlessness, or whatever................I get it. But why act out towards the folks who are trying their best just to help you? If you don't want to be in the hospital, or you'd rather not be repaired, just go home, Ok? There are many other nice folks we would just love to attend to.


I'd rather gather bathhouse blankets
Than take care of you,
Working minimum wage
And do the best I could do,
I'd rather dig fire-pits
To roast the slaughtered pig,
Than spend another day with you
With your ego so big.

When you come to the hospital
Please leave your attitude at home,
We're doing the best we can
This is not the church of Rome,
No, we're just medical peons
At your beck and call,
I'll do my best for 12 hours
Just don't call me Paul.

I will treat you respectfully
And look for the same in return,
I'll get you juice, food and TV
Your care is my concern,
But please do remember
Your safety comes first,
If the Doctor writes, "NPO"
I can't cater to your thirst.

You didn't eat since yesterday?
It's a bother, but not critical,
Most of us are overweight
I'm just saying, not analytical,
And fasting can be a benefit
However stressful, it might seem,
When you finally get to eat
Our food will taste like a dream.

I'd rather trim forty acres
Of Star Thistle, in June,
If you ever come back again
That will be too soon.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Themeless not Dreamless

Sometimes something just sticks in my craw and I don't really understand it. But when I begin with some little idea, the concept unfolds. Here I was thinking about all the dumb stuff that Administration threatens employees with, while letting other really important issues go down the tubes. Sure HIPPA is important, but what do we do about the public whipping out their phones to photograph Momma with her pretty blue surgical hat on, or some fool Mother, let's a cellphone in the room with her intubated neonate and the picture ends up on Faceless Book?

Anyway, I'm peeved.

Hospital organizations
Threaten new members,
HIPPA violations?
We'll roast you on embers;

And other fancy rules
Laid out clearly for new-hires,
Will never be enforced
Until the statute retires.

Why do they forcefeed us all
With powerless reminders?
To impress the Regulators
Who are all wearing blinders,
To the reality of the present
Perpetual cost-cutting days,
No more free Soda
Unless the Employee pays.


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Assuming the Reigns

Choosing to be a Nurse Manager..........well, I gotta hand it to you. It sounds like a living nightmare; until you go home, and have PTSD nightmares, of what didn't go well that day at work. It's a huge amount of responsibility  (to do it right). Good Luck!

Manager, or
Man ager,
You might feel older
I would wager,
Assuming the reins
Of that wild horse,
Perhaps, you're the one
Who can right the course.

Historical guidance
From a veteran, needed,
Has been impeded,
I was there and I saw it
And it wasn't good,
Perhaps you can fix it;
Our old neighborhood.

Focus your powers
And rally the troops,
Watch out for landmines
And the loopety-loops,
Who lurk in the closets
And whisper sedition,
Clean house if you must
To establish your edition.

Make fair new rules
And stick to your guns,
Establish strong protocols
For your daughters and sons,
The family you inherited
By your audacious deed,
Discover your mentors
To guide you, to Lead.


Saturday, February 07, 2015

Bobcats & Rabbits

Good Goat Almighty............! Today was like Bats out of the Cosumnes River Preserve! 45,000 of them at once. That is what it felt like, and what other bystanders commented. It was totally demented.

Oh, my word
How busy can it get?,
Not too much more of this
I can safely bet,
With the resources we have
And that's not counting too much,
Few persons, qualify to float
And if they do, they wouldn't touch,
Knowingly enter
The region we inhabit,
Kind of like Bobcats
Who are chasing a rabbit,
All about the tributaries
Leading to the Den,
Thank goodness, this only happens
Now and then.