Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Bed Theory

After 31 years of Nursing, I stake my claim, and publish emperic, evidence-based, scientific research.

Even though our new "HIPPA" compliant, one occupant , get-ready and recover rooms are the cats meow, they are small. They are designed for a gurney, but those things are just rolling torture tables. Our 2015 idea, is to have a real bed in there, for those patients who might be with us for more than 4 hours. The following mini-research proves, that providing a comfy bed, does not guarantee patient happiness.

Bed Theory

We theorized the following:
Sometimes our patients have a long wait
For a Cardiac Cath date,
If they had a bed, instead of a gurney,
They might be less inclined
To call an attorney.

A common supposition stated
Bed, compared to gurney, might be rated,
Higher on the satisfaction scale
But still, our patients moan and wail,
Because laying on one, uncompared to the other
They don't know the difference, and the crux of it brother,
What they really want, is nicotine and food
Bed Theorem debunked, hence their bad mood.


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