Monday, April 29, 2013

25 Times

Healthcare workers getting sick? Yup, we ain’t no more special than the rest of you blokes. My affliction, appeared to be some variant of food poisoning, or “intestinal bug”. Frankly, a 48 hour trip to the loo, won’t be high on my list of exciting recommended excursions. However, as I speak, it was prolonged enough to earn me a day of paid-time-off.

On another note, I certainly empathize with those numerous patients, who had C-diff, or other similar afflictions, requiring frequent linen changes.

25 Times

25 times,
It sounds kind of exciting
And even though it rhymes,
I wouldn't recommend it
To any kind of friend,
Because 25 expulsions
Makes for a sore bottom end.

25 repetitions,
Like some kind of penance
From a priest with weird ambitions,
Exploring my fortitude
Amidst the storm in my colon,
Like a conveyor belt of garbage
At the dump; it just kept rolling.

25 trips
To the johnny isn't fun,
Quite often one must canter
Or even, flat-out run,
To avoid public embarrassment
And the horrid, proverbial "Oops",
Your pants show the evidence clearly
You lost the handle on your poops.

25 rounds
Of emptying, got old,
I'm feeling so vacant
Like my intestine was sold,
To the junk man down the street
Collecting bottles, rags and cans,
But wait, there's more, I'm just saying
This wasn't part of my weekend plans.


A Liquid Insurgency

At times I think
I'm pretty tough,
But 25 trips
Was quite enough,
8 Hours had passed
I thought, now I am free,
The last chapter played out
On my diaree.

Not so, said my colon
There will be no relief,
Today is day 3
And it's time for more grief,
Let's have more of the same
Your condition didn't pass,
We tricked you for a while
When you only passed gas.

But I was feeling better
And finally ate some dinner,
I slept all through the night
Thinking I was the winner,
But later, after breakfast
There was a rumbling in my gut,
Then a liquid insurgency
Was departing my butt.

I'll hold out till day 4
I'm a tough nut, you'll see,
Then I'll ask for advice
From Doctor McDee,
He might have some insight
On this intestinal issue,
Or consider it a prompt
To invest in toilet tissue.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gurgling Gut

Diarrhea, Day 8 - Final
I was so damned sore
I needed a spinal,
But that condition waxed and waned
And finally quit,
Thank goodness!; my colon
Had quite enough of it!

Now thirty days later
I still have gurgling gut,
After that scorched earth clean out
Stripped my colon to a rut,
So now I'm rebuilding
New intestinal tissue,
A recommendation?
Don't make this your issue.


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